rantings of a bitter Jarhead

Back to work!!

2012-01-27T12:55:00.003-05:00

Short post, I have been busy and have a bunch of stuff to do today as well. I go back to work Monday, only two more weeks of being a penniless asshole. I got my first unemployment check, but it was only a half check so I am still kinda boned. Next weeks plus more will go to rent and I have to pay for parking at work. I get reimbursed but have to get through that first week and a half first. I have 250 left to get me through the next 2 weeks for gas, food, parking, and whatever else. The end is near though, almost out of the woods. Thanks to my friends that have been helpful during this, I could;t have done it without you and you have my sincere gratitude. Two more weeks till I return to normal.

Unemployment day 13

2012-01-23T11:05:00.002-05:00

I took a long weekend. So there.

I have something to do today!!!! A friend of mine owns a bar and asked if I would help fix up the stage, it needs an extra support or two and Out of all the guys that work there, I am the only one small enough to crawl and maneuver underneath it. It is also the first day of the new semester for me. I am taking physics 2 and cad/cam, a class for making cad drawings. I wish I could just load up on classes this semester and wait to go back to work till May, but that seems like too risky a move and I don't know if I could live on my unemployment that long. I am going to try and get my car payment put off for a couple months in the hopes that by the time it comes back up, I will be back to work. I am apx 200 hours away from my promotion and raise as well, fuckers. Weekend was ok, a friend of mine took me out for drinks Friday night and that was a good time. I ate an entire box of hamburger helper for dinner last night, what a stupid idea that was, that is wayyyy too much food for one person to try and eat. I thought my stomach was going to fucking explode, lessons learned I guess. I have a small conspiracy/rant I am trying to work on, I will try to have it up by Wednesday. I should get my first unemployment check this week, about goddamn time. I have about 200 dollars to my name and about 1000 in bills due this month. My check will only be for 350 so that kinda means some bill cats are going to be a little pissed at me this month, oh well. I'll catch up when I can, it's not like I don't want to pay my fucking bills. I feel like a real asshole having to pay things late or not at all. Still waiting on any of my shit to come in the mail so I can do my taxes, what is the goddamn deal?! Send me my shit so I can file and be done with it. I guess the only thing I really have to wait on is my school loan jive, I have my pay stubs from both places I worked and I think the thing that came from retirement is what I need for that, dunno, never had a retirement dud before, I already have $500 smackers waiting for me in 37 years. In future dollars, that will probably be like 5 bucks. ok, time for more coffee and the showdown with USAA about my car payment, lets see how Vet friendly this company for Vet's really is....

Unemployment day 9...

2012-01-19T13:32:00.002-05:00

First things first, I need to deal with this picture...

I think they used actual crack heads for the top row. Most people don't think that is hot at all, those are the ones made fun of and checked into rehab clinics. The chicks on the bottom are good looking, but lets leave numbers out of this because most people lie and exaggerate the numbers anyway. Dress size can't be used either because that is arbitrary and has been changed over the years to make fat people feel better about themselves.

Now for my biggest point...

If you look like the top row, you cannot under any circumstances, post this picture and pretend like you are fighting the power or sticking up for women's rights or whatever the hell they are pissing about this week. That destroy's the whole point unless you really just hate the way you work and want to be thicker... I would rather not bang the top row except for number 1 and would bang 1 and 4 on the bottom row. Yes women models used to be a little bit thicker and yes some of them today (most) are too skinny and look sick. No, not every guy is beating his dick like it owes him money to the top row, very few are.

Now, onto our second order of business.

Mary Mark, you are an idiot but not one of us is surprised. He said that if he had been on one of the planes that went down on September 11th, he would have kicked everyone in the tits and saved the world from communism and hippies. Really...? It didn't take him long to apologize for calling everyone that died that day a pussy. Hey asshole, just because you did a few stunts and pretended to box in a choreographed couple of scenes, you cannot fight off a group of armed bandits who will fight to the death and not give a shit. Your new movie, Contraband, was not that bad, but kind of long.

I bought my books for school today, 350 total for two fucking classes. I need to start selling textbooks to colleges, that is where the money is. My old boss called me today and expects me to quit my union and go back to work for him making less than I am on unemployment... fat fucking chance, I already have a number on the list and a guarantee to return to work when that number comes up and there weren't that many people ahead of me on said list so fuck you. I think I may go out for wings tonight, use found out I don't have gigs this weekend or next so now I need to find something inexpensive to do. 25 cent wings and 6 dollar pitchers of beer, I can handle a bit of that without losing my home and car I think. Time for a nap or some video games, see you fuckers tomorrow.

Kris

Unemployment day 8, fight the power.

2012-01-18T09:55:00.001-05:00

Unemployment day 7...

2012-01-17T12:44:00.003-05:00

Well I actually did stuff yesterday. I mounted a spice rack and only had to modify a couple things and cleaned the kitchen. Today or tomorrow my big adventure is to vacuum, but I already went to school to set up my book deferment and went to the rez and picked up a couple groceries so that may be my day, haha! I had a few drinks last night and then just lost the urge and made some rice then went to bed. Fuck me, I need a hobby.

My recent friend with benefits has suddenly popped up and said that this arrangement doesn't work for her anymore, that kinda sucks, but things go as they will. I may go to an open mic tonight for something to do, but I'm worried about spending too much at the bar so I probably won't go. I need to find more funny stuff to read online to pass the time. I am also worried about next week only getting a partial unemployment check because I was laid off during the week, they couldn't have fucked me worse if they had spent a month plotting it.

School starts next week, physics 2 and cad/cam should be interesting. I wish I could just take the semester off from work and knock out a few classes, but I would feel like too much of an asshole and like I was screwing the system. The Union Hall did tell me I could turn down a call and go back to the bottom of the list, but I feel shitty doing that because I do really want to go back to work. It's been a week and I am bored as hell and spazzed about money.

Thought I had more to say, sorry, time for a movie and a nap.

Peace off,

Unemployment day 6...

2012-01-16T10:25:00.002-05:00

I took the weekend off, shoot me. I don't think it counts anyway because I usually don't do anything on the weekend anyway. I went to a birthday party at the Joseph friday night and Saturday a friend of mine made me dinner and then we got pissy drunk, it was a good time. Tonight I am going to see a man about a bridge... No, meeting up with a woman who has a kick ass funk band and owns a bar called Goodbar down by my college to see about setting up some gigs. I am finally out of the synch where I am up early so that is good, now I can enjoy the nights.

I spent a little cash over the weekend, but it is unavoidable, I just have to be careful. I bought a pizza so I can put off grocery shopping for a day or two. Have to go to the rez tomorrow for gas and smokes, but that will be my big running day for the week. I also have to remember to stop in at school to get my book deferment set up cause classes start next week. I wish I knew how long I was going to be off so I could take more classes or whatnot, but the risk of not knowing is too great so I will just keep plugging away at part time. Short one today, I have a spice rack to mount to a wall that isn't supposed to be mounted to a wall so there is that... goddamn hippies...

Unemployment day 3...

2012-01-13T10:55:00.002-05:00

1056- been up since 0830 cause I finally had to shovel for the first time this season. Glad it held off so long, still pissed and hate snow. Then I tried to find a problem with my bathroom wiring, but the jackass that did it made such a mess out of it I need a few hundred dollars in testers that I do not currently have to do work I would charge over 50 an hour for due to the headache.

Attire- Sweats, had real clothes on to shovel and have a birthday party to attend later so I will have to make myself presentable... goddamnit.

Alcohol- Bought a bottle of rum last night to cure m boredom, it kinda worked and now I want to build a Rube Goldberg Machine. Trying to avoid the light beer.

Gas- half a tank, baby! Only drove 3 miles yesterday. This weekend will eat some gas though.

Money- 38 dollars less, I bought a huge ass bottle of rum and some soda to go with it. Ordered chicken wings, but I had 20 in my wallet I didn't know about so score on that.

Food- I also got a sub so I have half of that for today and maybe pasta for later, need to go grocery shopping.

Smokes- stayed under a pack yesterday, will have to go to the rez on Monday or Tuesday probably.

Entertainment- Assassins Creed 2. Played about 9 hours yesterday, will probably do the same today unless I take a nap this afternoon.

Status- Still bored, pissed cause the bathroom isn't working, the guys who fixed the shower are the worst plumbers ever and I think one is severely mentally retarded. I don't have the testing equipment I need to fix it without ripping the walls apart or just running new lines and I rent so fuck that. Not doing it for anything less than 65 an hour and that won't happen so I am safe.

Outlook- 4, Not looking forward to next week with not getting a check and having to pay for some shit I need, think I will spend the weekend at a friends house where the bathroom works and the shower hasn't been cobbed together by a retard. Going to try to have a drunk but cheap weekend, I may be able to pull it off.

Unemployment day 2

2012-01-12T09:14:00.004-05:00

Really? A show called shipping wars? What could this possibly be about? The trials and tribulation of putting shit in a truck and driving it? Holy fuck, you have got to be fucking kidding me. I have been watching netflix for so long that I forgot how fucking stupid commercials are and half the shows on tv. Anyone with funny pictures, send them my way, I need some entertainment.

Time- 0916 Apparently the guy fixing the shower thinks that 1100 and 0830 are the same time...

Attire- Sweat pants and a NASA t-shirt commemorating the space program, because, ya know, they got laid off too.

Alcohol- 14 cans of beer, goddamnit I hate light beer. 1" of Soco, 1/3 bottle of rum.

Gas- Half a tank, still good.

Money- 500, Last paycheck cleared and I paid my car payment that was forgotten about last month. Have to start figuring out which bills to pay this month, will probably be car, ins, rent, and phone. I really hate light beer. Those are the most important ones.

Food- Thinking of going to buy some cereal. I could also just try to live on ensure shakes to see what happens, not sure if that would be too expensive though. I have some bacon I can make and some frozen waffles that are covered in ice by now. Did taco's instead of chicken yesterday and ate too much because I was bored. I want pizza and wings, but will need to find someone to split it with first... I wonder which is better, living on cereal or meal shakes?

Smokes- Almost half a carton, didn't have too many yesterday but I found some for 10 a carton so will make a road trip this week sometime to replenish.

Entertainment- Assassins Creed 2 at some point. May try to see how many times I can get drunk and fall asleep in a 24 hour period. Any tips for fun experiments such as that would be appreciated to curb the boredom.

Status- Bored and wide awake. Cheap wings tonight at the bar, but I am worried about spending money. The weekend is coming up and the normal people with jobs may want to do something this weekend and I would like to try and participate. Goddamnit I really, really hate light beer.

Outlook (out of 10)- 6, Spazzed about money, but realize I have to spend some to live and not go completely fucking insane. Some bills will just not get paid regularly for a while, but those will probably just be credit cards, they will live and maybe the apocalypse will happen soon and wipe out all computer and debt records just in time. School starts in a week and a half so that will be something to do a couple nights a week.

Unemployed

2012-01-11T10:48:00.003-05:00

Fuck.

Double fuck.

So in the last four weeks, I have shelled out about 1800 in car repairs cause I still am paying for the car and see no other options, forgot to make a car payment last month because I was too caught up in xmas shopping, and I was laid off yesterday. I am already behind on bills and have no savings, no available credit and have used my overdraft protection to fix my car. Fucked doesn't even begin to describe this situation.

I went off my meds a couple months ago and was doing pretty well up until this last couple weeks. Oh, and the first 1000 dollar car repair, my car broke down on xmas night dropping off a friend after a party and the tow truck driver made me walk home a mile from the repair shop at 0500 in the freezing cold, thanks asshole.

I am going to try to keep a running daily update on my unemployment for those playing along at home. The preceding is the groundwork to see where I am starting this off and what will ensue...

Day 1.

1055 and I am already bored. I went to the Union Hall and signed the book and turned in all my paperwork. I have stuff I am supposed to turn in every month and haven't since last April, they looked a little pissed when I dumped it all on them. They told me it could be a couple days, could be a couple months but I am guaranteed to go back to work so at least I have that.

Attire- Jeans and a thermal, only because I had to leave the house to go to the Hall.

Alcohol- I have an inch of Soco, half a bottle of Rum Chata (some cool shit that tastes like cinnamon toast crunch), and 22 cans of beer, but it is light beer cause I was not paying attention and tastes like water. Drank 8 last night before I started to even notice it, I fucking hate light beer.

Gas- half a tank.

Money- technically less than zero but I deposited my last paycheck yesterday and it will pretty much all be gone when I pay the bills I could't last week because of the second car repair that cost 860.

Food- had cheesecake for breakfast and some coffee, lunch/dinner will be my last chicken tit with breading and rice.

Smokes- half a carton.

Entertainment- Netflix or maybe a video game, probably a nap this afternoon.

Status- Sober.

Outlook- (out of 10) 5. I get no paycheck next week and when unemployment kicks in, the nest I can hope for is 405 a week and will be screwed on taxes next year. I usually make 557 a week so this will take some adjusting and figuring. I do have a promise to be back to work at some point and I have student loan money coming in probably near the middle of February. Waiting for papers to come so I can do my taxes, but those won't be here for at least a couple more weeks.

Redundantly repeating myself, over and over again...

2011-10-18T22:13:00.002-04:00

First off, I have a few fuck you's to lovingly hand out to the masses. I seem to have not gotten my point across yet that I do not appreciate and am not willing to either chase a girl or play some kind of game where you act like you don't want to talk to me to see how far I will go and then play hot and cold with me. If you want to be around me, goddamn say so and if you don't, say. fucking. so. If all you want is a shag, once again, say so and we can talk. If you just want to hang out and have a beer, I think you should say thats what you want and do exactly that. Oh, it doesn't help if you get blitzed on the first date and tell me how everyone says you are a slut and how funny and cute you think it is. That doesn't go much for earning you any kind of respect and will just get you the same treatment from me. If you act like some drunk fuck toy, you will be treated accordingly. You are not allowed to complain about it or try to pretend you are anything different.

Birthday's... you get a giant fuck you. I do not need a reminder that I am officially old. You already took my hair line and mounted an offensive against the colour of my hair, don't rub it in with the number game.

Next group of people that need to be raped with a rail road spike are the religious right. What kind of sense does it make to rally against abortion, but execute retarded people and cheer for people to die because they can't afford health insurance? And what goddamn person that claims to be a patriot would boo a soldier just because he is gay? He takes up arms and is willing to die for you fucks. That is the end of my political rant.

So, I am turning 30 in a few days... not sure how to feel about that or what to think. Am I old? Not old enough? Should I have accomplished more by this point? Am I supposed to have the house with the fence and the dog and be getting ready for my first divorce? Should I have a good career making 100k a year by now? I feel like I haven't gotten very far. I am still in school, only make 19 an hour, am single, rent, don't have a dog (but a cool cat!) I have friends that have some or all of these things, am I not as good as them? Am I a failure? I am glad I don't have kids yet and I haven't found anyone I can put up with long enough or that can stand me to get married. It's hard enough to wither get a second date or want one lately.

I almost forgot, a giant fuck you to insomnia. You suck fetid donkey balls. Let me fucking sleep so I am not a damn zombie unless I am slamming coffee and the like.

For my birthday, I will be setting up shop at my favourite local bar, Broadway Joes. I should arrive Friday early evening and be there until Sunday morning. The bar serves food and has a can so I should be all set. If fortune smiles upon me and I have Friday off from work, I will start Thursday night.

You think if my cat dies and I plant her in the yard, new cats will grow? Or would I have to do it while she is still alive? What if she comes back as a zombie cat? That would kinda blow, but it might be kinda cool...

Time to try the whole sleep thing again, farewell gentle reader. I can never say how much I appreciate you reading this useless crap time and again. I love you all and hope my posts get better or at least more entertaining. Hoping to have a good story after this weekend. Take care and go have a damn beer, sobriety is for hippies and sailors!!

Cheers,

The way things were...

2011-09-20T20:41:00.002-04:00

Hey gang,

Once again, I throw myself at your mercy for my absence, I hope that some of you will see this and read it, even. It has been some time and shit has gone down. I am on a decent dose of my meds so that I am usually ok unless too much stupid happens, which is about every other day...

Back on the hunt for a lady companion and it is not going well!! Ha!!! One broad had the nerve to call me an alcoholic! Can you believe that shit! So, I got wasted and called her a cunt and then she didn't want certain parts of me to touch her anymore (certain parts being all of me.) She wanted to stay friends though, whew! What a relief, you mean instead of molesting your tits on a regular basis, I can just text you and say HI? You mean, when I see you with your next victim, I can't be sad or jealous or care? You know what they should say instead? (this is loosely quoted from my favourite movie called High Strung)... "I don't want anything to DO with you anymore, but it would be great for me if I could feel NO Guilt. It would be great if I thought I could call on you to help me with my life! But, I dont want to see you or hang out with you..." ..."It is like your mom coming up to you in public and saying 'Now remember I lover you very much, but when we are in public? Don't call me Mom, call me Marge.'" Fuck you, you projecting, drug addict of a slutbitchwhoremotherfucker. Lets, just be friends... yeah, but only if I can still have exclusive rights to those cans!! This is also assuming that I was the only one these past few weeks that had access to the promise land.

I have been working in a nursing home these past couple weeks. It is the most god damn depressing and sad place I have ever been in. I listen to these people yell and scream and cry for pills they just took, most cannot feed themselves, it is fucking horrible! My best thoughts go out to anybody that works in one of these despicable shit holes. Speaking of work, I started with the IBEW electrical union local 41 back in Feb. Got a decent raise and upgrade in work conditions, jobs, the whole fucking nine!

I am still in school working towards my mechanical engineering degree, this process will never end and will only get worse, going to school part time sucks. I have been thinking of simpler times lately, when we were younger and dumber. This last section is a few things that just used to be better.

Remember when things didn't suck as much? When all you had to worry about was getting to the game after school and what cd was next on your list to buy. I turn 30 next month, not too sure how I feel about that. I am getting old and I can see it, my hair has thinned out so that I now shave my head. I actually need sleep now. I have no fucking clue what these dipshit kids are doing with their clothes, either. Dress like a god damned man if you are a man. No more stealing your fucking girlfriends jeans and hair style!!

Remember when being in the military used to mean something? When people were proud to talk about their time in? When employers sought to hire veterans? When a woman's deciding factor in dating you wasn't whether or not you served? I seem to notice that we have a horrible rap now and people are afraid of us and not in the good way. The government tells us to beggar off when we ask for the things we were promised in writing.

Remember when a gal liked (and dare I even say appreciated) being treated nice? Instead of getting bored with that pussy shit of a bitch and slipping off with the next guy that looks like they will slap them and call them a stupid cunt. (Fuck you autocorrect! I will teach you the word cunt!!) We used to kick guys asses if we saw him acting that way towards a lady. Now you see it and you can see the look in the eyes of the people around and the girls flutter as the guys look on in awe. I know there is something to be said for the bad boy image, but since when did trying to be nice to someone mean that you are a puss? I don't like to yell at people for no reason and I was brought up to be polite and treat your girl like she was as great as you knew she was/is. It seems like the only people you see in relationships are always fighting like they hate and resent each other. They always go back to the guy that hits them, as well! I know not 100% of the time, save your hate mail, but a lot of the time! I have been told I was too nice before when girls have broken up with me. What the fuck?! Isn't the point to be with someone you like and enjoy spending time around? Someone you don't fight with all the time and you smile when you think of spending time with them? Why the fuck would anyone stay with someone they weren't happy to see? Are we all that intent on being miserable, the victim, the forsaken?

Now, I know I am not the most cheery little fuckin trooper out there, but come the fuck on. Nobody likes being in a bad mood all the time, it sucks. Most of us try to do things that we enjoy, or that will cheer us up. Things like having a beer with a friend, plowing the snot out of some hot piece of ass, listening to music, the list goes on and on. Stop being a pathetic little emo fuck tard and realize that you are not nearly as important as you think you are and shut the fuck up.

Remember when men used to be men? Men drank beer, smoked, swore, knew how to build and fix shit, etc.

We sure as shit aren't getting any younger, folks. Stop wasting your time and find a decent girl or guy. Go find a career or job you don't hate. Go toast a shot with your favorite bitter Jarhead:) Have a blast and don't take no fucking prisoners!!

yeah... and stuff

2010-11-28T15:37:00.002-05:00

So, it has been quite a while and I have meant to do this for a while. I don't have much to say today, just got back from seeing the girlfriend in North Carolina for a week and have to do all the shit I ignored for a week. I have an 8 page paper to write a draft of, and two chapters of physics to read and do the questions on.

I have been watching football recently, not sure why, but even my local team the Bills are playing decent today. I started the twitter thing up, finally figured I would check it out. I think while during school as I don't have time to do shit, this twitter thing may come in handy with regards to this. You should be able to find me there by my phone number and email, but the screen name is K_Kalishnakov. For some reason they put @ in front of it, guess it just feeds the western ego of being important and all that jive.

School has been killing me slowly, working 40 hrs a week on top of 12 credit hours is not fun as many of you already know. I had to quit the metal band because I didn't have time to ever practice with them and haven't done much with the cover band either. Just work and school, and work Saturday's when I am home to make up for leaving work early for school. I work 6 or 7am till 2 pm, and then class from 3 till 8 4 days a week. Then I come home and try to do homework until I fall asleep at my desk or reading propped up in bed. Next semester will be much the same, although I get to take calc along with an upper level anthropology classes that will take care of a gen ed requirement, and biology, fun wow. The fourth and or fifth is a tossup depending on what my adviser will allow, either sociology or mechanics1. In the fall I should be able to start taking mostly if not all engineering classes, so at least I will finally be taking the classes for my major.

I took a trip in October and I'll tell a bit about the vacation next time, I have to read a couple books and write that damn paper. Follow me on twitter and I'll follow you, I can do that from my phone and it may work out:)

Cheers

Letters to all BUT Cleo...

2010-06-28T19:44:00.003-04:00

Dear dude that broke into my neighbor's car sat night,

I hope you are not stupid enough to try to hit his house or car again tonight or mine because there is nothing to barricade between the two. You now have a nightly patrol of two drunk and bitter construction workers with shot guns waiting in an elevated position behind the house waiting for you. I want to thank you for being part of the lower 10% and reaffirming my very bleak outlook on humanity.

Regards,

Kris

Dear all ex girlfriend's of mine,

Why do you feel the need to keep tabs on me and "drop me a line" from time to time to see how I am and then trash talk me behind my back? I am assuming there is or are very good reasons that we broke up. I am also assuming that you don't have any interest in talking to me because I only hear from you once a year when you are drunk or very lonely. If that is the case, buggar off, I have plenty of better ways to waste my own time without you doing it for me.

See you in hell,

Kris

Dear black wasp that looks bluish in the sunlight,

I hate you, do you know how much I hate you? More than I can express here in this letter. If I ever, EVER get my hands on you, I will make sure you die a very slow and painful death. Don't even think about stinging me either, I know what you pack and I have some very flammable aerosol cans, oily rags, and a lighter. I will find you and your entire family/hive and roast them like a fucking marshmallow.

Best wishes,

Kris

Dear Boss,

Fuck. You.

Warm wishes,

Kris

Dear guy who sells drugs on his front porch across the street from me,

Stop it you fucktard, even you cannot be that stupid to think everyone doesn't know it. I know you and your white rash queen girlfriend who is only with you because your ugly mug sells drugs think you are pimp's or whatever the kids call it these days, but one of these days you will piss me off and then I wouldn't be surprised to see the cops knocking your front door in the next night.

Sincerely,

Kris

Dear fat chick I saw today with the mini skirt and spandex top that let your beer gut pop out underneath it,

Stop it.

Yours truly not ever,

kris

Dear Head dude on my current job site,

We both know my boss is a douchebag, but don't make my job any harder because of it. Your attention on this matter would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

Kris

Dear Facebook,

Why are you nothing more than another email to check? Do you really think I care that someone that friended me 3 years ago and has never talked to me just "got back from shopping!! Whew!!!" ? Go fuck yourself.

Your mindless slave in email,

Kris

Dear cat,

You are a very weird little kitten, why do you attack nothing and then pretend like nothing happened when you see me looking at you? Uncross your eyes, your face will freeze like that someday.

From,

Kris

Dear V.A.Chick,

If you are so goddamned intent on talking to me once a month then how about you try answering your mother fucking phone or lessening to a voicemail and returning it sometime.

Sincerely,

Kris

Dear United States of America,

When will you stop this stupid little tantrum you are throwing and just go along with the damn metric system? You do know there are only about 2 other countries still doing this, right? What are you trying to prove? Or are there just too many illiterate fucks in this country that cannot wrap their drug addled minds around the concept of the number ten?

Oh, and Happy Birthday this weekend too. I gave you eight years of my life in the service, now it's time you do this one small favor for me.

Regards,

Kris

Dear V.A. college tuition thingy place,

Fuck you, you stole half my money for school and I hope you all rot in the worst place your religion allows for all eternity.

Sincerely,

Kris

Dear Buffalo State advisor,

If you really want me to come in for a meeting, then return an email or a phone call, you prick. I told you I cannot do what you told me to do because I need someone higher up than I to force some things or at least have them entered into the computer correctly. I will be at your office in sometime in the next couple weeks and so help me, you better have some fucking answers and solutions for me.

Happy holidays

Kris

Dear migrant workers framing the building I am working in,

Stop stealing our ladders and tools. I know you speak English, I hear you doing it. Don't pretend you have no clue what I am saying when I ask for my shit back or I will call INS and have your worthless ass deported.

From the desk of,

Kris

Dear landlord,

It has been 4 weeks, FIX THE DAMN SINK IN THE HALF BATH YOU BITCH!!! Don't make me enlist the help of child protective services to clean out that filthy hovel across the street from me you slither around in with two 15 watt lightbulbs lighting up the entire place except for what appears to be a grow room in the attic.

You suck,

Kris

Dear women who wear sundresses in the summer,

I love you.

Warmest wishes,

Kris

Dear kids who turn their bass up so loud the only thing you hear is the license plate rattling,

Do you have any idea how much of an asshole you are? I don't want to have to put my window up at a red light because you are an inconsiderate piss ant. If the prison term were short enough, I would shoot you in the face.

Sincerely,

Kris

ps. Pull up your fucking pants too.

Dear Internet,

What the fuck? Kudos on red tube, but why for the love of it all do you let half of these retards post thins on you tube? I enjoy watching a lot of your content, but for fuck's sake, do you have any idea the stupid shit people put on there?

Yours truly,

Kris

Dear people that have more than 4 kids,

Why? I know you like to shag, but come on! I am not one to want to dictate reproduction, but if you can't afford to have kids, don't.

Die, die, die,

Kris

Dear fish in Lake Erie,

I feed you more than I should, help a brother out! I don;t want to resort to using M-80's, but I will. Do not force my hand on this issue.

Regards,

Kris

Dear homeless guy who steals empty bottles and cans from my porch,

You are an ass. You know, if you just asked, I probably would have just given them to you, but now I am contemplating buying a metal refuse bin to replace the plastic one where I currently keep empties on my front porch and wiring it to zap your ass to Timbucktoo. There is no need to come onto my porch and root through the bin. I might just put some razor blades in there, just my little way of saying "Welcome to the neighborhood". :)

Good luck,

Kris

Dear readers,

Thank you for putting up with my shit, rants, and incessant bitching the past year. I hope you are getting a good laugh once in a while or are at least mildly amused. I'm sorry I don't read your blogs as much as I should and sorry I stopped posting regularly. I will attend to these issues as best I can. The few who comment do hold a tiny piece of my heart and I appreciate your comments and reading. I wish I could throw a party and invite you all for grilling and drinks. I will be in Kansas City on Halloween weekend this year for a football game, and to party my dick off. If anyone will be in the area, hit me up and we will drink much and have many more laughs.

See you cats next week,

Kris

I'd rather get a Cleveland steamer from a tranny than go back there.

2010-06-08T19:28:00.003-04:00

Where to start... Well I know it has been a while but some shit went down, at first not much happened and I didn't have much to write about but now your old lovable asshole is back with a vengeance. I'm not sure when the last one was and I don't care to go look it up.

I was accepted to school for mechanical engineering to start in the fall, not the school I wanted, but it was the one that offered night classes so I can still go to work. I am excited about it because I finally have a purpose in school, I won't have to be a non-union electrician for the rest of my life, and I can quit this job sometime in the foreseeable future. They want me to take calc, chem, physics, and CAD this fall, at least I won't be bored! I felt good for a few days until I had to go back to work for my boss, the temp thing ended and he drug me back kicking and screaming. Every idea that he has that he thinks will save him a buck takes me three times as long to do and is twice as hard for no good fucking reason, but he signs the checks and every now and again he hits a winner so fuck it.

I was dumped via text message... what a crock of shit that was, this broad was a miserable twat all weekend long, even took her out on my buddies boat to cheer her up (shut her the hell up) and nothing was good enough. She had been acting weird for a couple weeks so I figured something was coming, especially when she started not leaving things at my place anymore, partied all week with her friends and didn't have the energy or anything to do anything with me but still bitched about not doing anything. She told me in the text that she realized she couldn't change me... Really?! After knowing me for a year and a half and not noticing any changes at all in the way I live my life or conduct myself (except for getting into my major) you think I would flip a switch and suddenly become this sappy, over emotional shit head? I wish I could convey enough sarcasm here, but I hope you all get the point. Let us get a couple things straight right now. I am not a human blanket, especially when it is hot out. I know you are there and I like you or you wouldn't be here. I don't need to touch you or be touched by you every three minutes to remember these things. I will not spend all day every day fighting to win your affection. If you are that needy, get the shit out. I will not take you to a restaurant that costs $75 a plate every weekend, I am not made of money and until you offer to pay something or do anything but bitch, you can go be a spoiled brat somewhere else.(Special occasions not included in that last one.)

And who the fuck is Carrie Adams?!?! Why did you friend me on facebook? I better know who the hell you are or I better look one hell of a lot better than I think I do and you better like whiskey.

I moved about a week and a half ago, just before Memorial Day for you Yank's. Left the almost country out in Amherst, NY and hit the north towns, in a suburb called University Heights. 4 goddamned doors down from the University I just transferred out of... fuckers. The new place is pretty cool though, the roommates are all cool and all seem clean enough and tidy enough. One is some kind of bacteriologist, one is a pharmacy student unless he decides to go to med school, and the other is an architect. 2 of them like beer, and are all cool to shoot the shit with. I hear the young one scares easily too:) of course, that is the one gone for the summer so I have to wait until fall to fuck with him. I think I could get into a fair amount of trouble on this street, last fall two houses down had naked jello wrestling twice a week.

The shrink put me on this pill called Mirtazipine (sp?) and it was ok for a week or so, but I think the dose needs to be upped. It is supposed to have a pretty good sedative in it, but I sleep worse and worse and still have most the problems as before. The other option was some pill that had an anti-fucking thing in it. I told him if I couldn't shag then we would have bigger problems so let's go with the other one. I can't drink as much on it, but it means I am a cheaper date I guess, hahaha! Now that I am back out on the hunt, I don't need some pill that gives me whiskey dick and kills my drive. I think my next session is tomorrow, so we shall see what happens. This new place I am living in puts me within walking distance to a few bars so at least that will be fun, no more worries abbot having to drive home from the pub!

That is about all I have for now, looking for a new name for the band and a new coozie for my beer, so if anyone has any good idea's or link's, please send them. Have a good rest of the week and do a shot of Jamison for your favorite little piss ant.

Cheers,

Kris

ps. this piece was not edited (as usual) so I apologize for the screw ups.

People who are potatoes should't fuck

2010-05-10T21:12:00.002-04:00

Yes, I found a Green man costume, anyone who is a fan of the show "It's Aways Sunny in Philadelphia" will get a kick out of it, the rest of you probably think I am a weirdo, but that is your opinion. I think I pull it off rather well :p

For the record, as far as I know, no one likes making out with a rug... or fucking it. This applies to both sides so clean your shit up people, pretend like you care. This is directed at no one in particular, just the result of a discussion I had recently. Speaking of recent conversations, the weirdest thing happened to me the other weekend. I was at a cookout with a couple old military buddies, and I get a text. It was from my boss, and it said "What's up?" My boss isn't much for talking or shooting the shit, especially to me. This is also aside form the fact he whored me out to anther electrical company in December and I am still there because he has no work. He won't lay me off so I can just work for this other and much better company. I am a little freaked out by this text, so I call him to ask if he is ok, he informs me that he is, just waiting for his friend/date to decide where she wants to go for dinner and he wondered what I was up to. I told him, "hey dude, it's Friday. I'm cooking on a grill and drinking my face off, care to join?" He politely declined the offer... wuss. Although if I could bench 350 pounds at the age of 54, I probably wouldn't fuck it up by eating shitty food and binge drinking either.

The VA has upgraded me from seeing a behavioral social worker to seeing a full blown witch doctor (shrink). They want to dope the white kid up so he is nicer to people or some jive like that. We shall find out this Wednesday.

Now for the big news, this one is actually good. I was accepted for my major last week, I am officially a mechanical engineering student. I now have a purpose in school and maybe even in life, hopefully I don;t get bored with this after a few months or a year like I seem to do with everything else. Hope not, supposed to be an interesting job. Once I get my degree I may still go to law school, but I have a couple years to decide on that one. Now I have to learn a new campus and go through an orientation, that I am required to attend and just happens to cost 60 beans... fuckers. Fuck I need a beer.

As long as I am thinking about beer, my hangout bar, Broadway Joe's, is now offering free pancakes on Monday nights during karaoke, how weird is that? Pancakes and beer?! From the sounds of it, it seems to be going over quite well, though I am still skeptical. Have to check it out next month when I move a little closer to the place. I am moving at the end of the month into the city finally. Right next to the entrance of the school I just transferred out of, what a kick in the sack. The other school is about 10-15 away though, so not too bad still. Back to full time school in the fall, it may fuck things up with one or both of my bands, def one of them, but I told them about it and after some bitching, they realized I was serious and trying not to fuck them over. I finally realized I don't want to make 14 bucks an hour and work outside for the rest of my life. This degree will get me out of that and I am going to do it. It may keep me in this state for longer than I would like, but it is something I need to do. Would like to be able to afford my own place and have the cash to do some of the shit I would like to do.

One of my buddies was telling me (again) about how well he fucks his old lady, like I give a shit. It is funny though, that every fuck story from him starts out with something like "I was fuckin my girl for like 7 hours the other day dues, it was awesome..." Ok, let's get a couple things straight. I went through part of the list of narcotics it would take to enable you to fuck for that long without either dying, or grinding your dick down to a stub, or killing the girl you are shagging. You don't do any of them and the amounts you would need would probably kill most people. Now I know a couple things about drunk fuckin, but even after about 20 beers, it will last a while, but usually one of the two gets sore and you run out of spit and gasoline. Or one passes out and then it just gets creepy... after a few minutes. I would like a couple of you chicks who read this to comment, spare me the gory details, I don't need to know the intimate details of your sex life and I do not want to, but as far as time frames go, whats the longest you have gone in one round without stopping except to change positions before one of you got hurt, bored, passed out, or gave up on it? So far I have heard roughly about an hour and a half to two hours as being the cut off. This is only for one round though, if you take a break or go drink more beer or whatever, then you can't claim you shagged for 6 hours when you were really only fuckin for 2 or 3 of them, but shagged about 8 times in there. I had a threesome last summer that was like that, we were hammered, messed around for a while, went back to the fire and drank more, and the circle repeated itself throughout the night, that shit doesn't count.

Anyway, on to a less messy topic, sort of... I had this sub at work last week that took about 7 years off my life, but god damn it was good. It was called the Italian delight and was made from people. No, it had Italian sausage, ham, capicola, and salami. I ordered it with hot sauce and cheese, nothing else. Holy Fuck, it was awesome. Didn't eat the rest of the day, couldn't, but man was it worth it.

That is about all I have for now, go to bed fuckers. Have fun this week and use your grill's!!!

hemorrhoid's, the ass"s clitoris

2010-04-26T22:34:00.008-04:00

A reflective note, before I get into things. It has been quite some number of years since I have sat down with a cup of coffee and a fresh pack of smokes and watched the sun come up over the open ocean. It was a peaceful way to start the day, I would like to do that again sometime soon. It takes my mind off of things like this retard I saw the other day driving his car on the freeway with headphones in. What in the fuck is wrong with this asshole? I may do a couple of sort of unsafe things whilst driving, but that one just tops it all. I might even understand if it was just one in, but both?! Please let him cause an accident with me so I can drag him through his windshield and beat the ever-loving shit out of him. If I believed in a god, that would be my prayer every night before I went to bed.

I also want to take this chance to tell all you women-folk out there that just because I engage you in conversation, or holy shit, try to be nice to you, especially when I am offered a paying gig and am trying to keep in your good graces, I am not hitting on you. This one skirt got all freaked out and went whining to a friend of mine because I invited her out for a night of hobnobbing with musicians with my band and many others and then I get a barrage of text's at 4am that I am a scum bag for hitting on his friend. Safe to say I will not be playing for that band this summer, kind of sucks, even though the music was some shitty dance crap, it was still going to be a paying gig and I need the cash with my band doing a recording soon and me moving at the end of May. Just because I talk to you does not mean I want to fuck you, get over yourself and lose that fat cottage cheese ass if you want to pretend to be a diva, bitch.

Another person that needs to be placed in a burlap sack and thrown off a cliff is the little piss ant that works at Guitar Center. I go in for an item that is supposed to be in stock and it isn't. No surprise there as that store is never reliable, but this fucktard thought he was going to get me to order my item and pay to have it shipped to the store! I told him he was about as smart as a bag of hammer's if he thought I was going to pay 5 dollars to ship an item that cost 3.50 and he was supposed to have in stock. He informed me it was policy and I told him he could shove that policy and the entire store right up his emo ass and that if I didn't have my credit card in my hand in exactly 2.4 seconds, he was going to learn a new definition of the phrase "inhumane punishment". I may have to stay out of that store for a few months... At least I can get a free trip to Mexico if I travel to Arizona this summer and don't take my passport with me:)

On a slightly more comical note, last week I received a text from my girlfriend, first of the day. It said something to the effect of "Did you know that if a chick shag's two guys in one night and she drops two eggs (cause apparently that's a thing) and they both get knocked up that she can have fraternal twins with two different fathers?" Well good morning to you too, you psycho freak. I politely inquired to see if she had something she wanted to tell me... two somethings... She said it was a "fun fact" she learned in her human genetics class. I told her I was going to spike her morning coffee with the day after pill every day from now until the time (if) we are no longer dating and for two months thereafter. Somehow I came out as the asshole in that conversation... How fucked up is that to be be the first text I get from her during the day? That is almost as fucked up as the outing to the liquor storer a couple weeks before that. We went in to get her a bottle of wine and me some whiskey so I could get her trashed enough to put out. When we got to the counter they asked her for her i.d. She presented and then the broad looks at me and asks if I have mine. I say nope and look her dead in the eye and she kinda takes a step back then looks down and goes, "oh, ok...", and checks us out. I didn't think that would work in a million years! I was laughing my ass off the entire way home.

I have my next meeting with the V.A. shrink this next Monday, wonder how that is going to go:) They want to put me on med's for "severe anxiety, depression, and OCD", amongst a couple other things. It's not my fault that every thing has a place and people piss me off. My blood pressure is getting better, but my stress level's are getting worse they tell me. I am supposed to relax more and not get so worked up about things. So I am not supposed to worry that I may have to quit my band's, not supposed to worry that I may not have a job next week, that the new apartment may fall through, my car won't break down, I can trust physics not to let the world implode, I won't get ambushed walking home from school or the bar, I get accepted to school for the fall, and a myriad of other things?! Easier said than done, V.A. chick.

That picture is my new stand on politics, I am about done watching the news or listening to it, it causes too much grief in my life to watch these fuckers squabble over money and votes. School is almost done for the semester and I am welcoming the break.

Angry Red, the pics of Greenman are coming as soon as I get them from the chick that took pictures at the party last Friday. For the rest of you, if you are a fan of "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia", you should get a kick out of it. The weirdest part of that party (aside from me in a spandex lime green body suit) was that an ex of mine was there, first time seeing her since we broke up about three years ago. Avoided each other until we were hammered, then ended up on the same beer pong team. We actually talked and joked a bit, it was really weird and took about 2 minutes until we started calling each other out on all the fucked up shit. She accused me of a bunch of shit but realized I was telling the truth when I told my side of it. Kind of took the wind out of her sails, mine a little bit too. Some of the worst stuff I figured happened may not have, still skeptical, but that is just me:) Waiting to see if there will be a part two of this conversation.

V, I haven't forgotten about the pics of me with my new spectacles, just been rough trying to find time to do shit, school is almost done, I will try to get them next week, I can shave now that the Sabre's have let me down once again. Still a hope for Vancouver, they cared enough to make it out of the first round of playoff's.

I shall close for now, getting late for this old cat, work tomorrow and a whole new round of fun there... Everyone be safe and come back with some good stories, I will start catching up on all your blog's next week, sorry I dropped off the face of the planet this semester, hope some of you haven't forgotten me and still read and even get a chuckle.

Semper Fi,

Kris

I'm going straight to hell... if it exists :)

2010-03-31T21:55:00.004-04:00

Ok... So as long as I am disappointing and pissing off everyone I know I might as well look like a jerk in the eyes of people I do not know as well! Truth be told, I haven't made up my mind entirely on this, but I have a rather odd question to ask...

Why are we required to feel pity for disabled and mentally fuckedupterized people when they participate in activities and do a terrible job by the standards given? Is it for TV ratings? Is it just because some people get off on making us feel like shit? Should we be gloriously happy that we come close to being "normally abled"? Society attempts to hold them to the standards of the majority when the commit a crime, they have to prove that their mental status does not allow them to function as the majority does. On the other hand, they can work at Wal-Mart, show up late, not do their job, and say anything that they want to and you can't complain because of their mental facility. I know there is an entire ethical debate about how to deal with any group of people on a society, to protect the rights of individuals, but also forward the society as a whole, but I am sick to fucking death of everyone and every stupid sub group you can invent wanting it both ways.

I know a couple of women who are big into the women's lib movement. I personally think that the time of a single income family are long gone and I would never date or (ugh) marry some chick that didn't have any aspiration to have a job. However, I hung out with one such woman who gave me all kinds of shit when I didn't hold a door open for her because I didn't want to offend her, then she called me an unchivalrous bastard. Next time we hung out I held the door, and she yelled at me again! "I don't need some man to hold a door for me, I can do it myself!" Well fuck you bitch! I can treat you like you should be treated, (as an equal human being capable of 95% of the shit I can do, cause I can't have a kid or bleed for a week without dying) or I can act like some 1950's asshole and buy you a vacuum for your birthday. I would never do that, but you get my point.

One brief political thingy that falls roughly into the discussion... How is it that this cat makes a couple thousand you tube video's calling for death and destruction to reign down upon all kinds of political people is allowed UNTIL he takes aim at a Republican? The past couple weeks have been full of all kinds of shit storms and death threats to families and political cats. The only one to be arrested for anything less than physical assault is this guy once he finally makes an video about a Republican. We were branded as unpatriotic and called terrorists by the right when we opposed the Iraq war. Whenever we disagreed with Bush, we were worried about being attacked for being un-American. Now when people complain about the President and threaten him and twitter how they would shoot him if they had the chance, it is free speech and they are heralded as heroes. Seems a little lopsided to me. I support free speech, hell I was one of those assholes sitting in the desert in 2003 that didn't figure out it was bullshit until I was home for a couple months, I support a lot of what our military does and is supposed to stand for. (at least the Marines :) ) If you don't like the government, go fucking vote bitches. I swear to anything you hold holy, the next hippie I hear whine about the way the government runs after telling me they don't vote is going to be gutted like a fish with a dull rusty spoon in a very cold place... possibly with piranha's. Things are not bad enough to resort to plotting to kill police officers or threatening congress persons' families with fucking snipers. Enough people didn't like the way Bush and the right were running things so they voted in the left across the board, if you don't like it now, go vote other people in. In theory, this is a democracy, not every swinging dick (not sexist, I mean everyone, just like the term) is going to be thrilled about every decision made on government.

Enough politics, I would like to head along a different line so I guess I might as well give a brief update on the whole me thing, since it is my blog I am going to talk about myself a little bit :p

The V.A. thing isn't going so well, I received some work safety glasses and a scrip I took for regular ones as well, I will post a pic with them in the next entry. I finally settled in with a shrink (some kind of behavioral social worker) who is supposed to be my main cat. I will only see him once every other month it seems so I fail to see the point, but he is supposed to be sending me to a psychiatrist for a scrip to deal with me "severe anxiety, depression, and OCD" as well as to get me to stop smoking. Dude, the doctor even told me not to stop smoking yet because I would become too much of an asshole until I was dealt with by the shrink, thanks for that little "pick me up"! They also put me on blood pressure meeds although they think that is mostly due to genetics and stress, but how stressed can I be when I am trying to work full time, go to school, be in two bands, find a place to live, not alienate my girlfriend, pay my bills, worry that I may be crazy by medical standards, and worry about the zombie apocalypse?

The band is the band, been almost a year now, so the drama shit is starting to come out, fuck me. Sometimes it is so goddamned annoying I would rather nail my dick to a burning building. The double talk and bullshit is enough to drive you mad. The cover band will kick back into gear next month so that will be nice, that one is a good and fun time still. I haven't managed to drive the girlfriend away yet, I know! I'm as surprised as you are! I do question the sanity of someone who live in the vicious hell hole of a 9 month sunless winter in Buffalo, NY, and is about as pale as Casper would be if he were a vampire with Aids in addition to being a ghost when they go tanning in Vegas with no sunscreen.

I shall close for now, tried to make it short and coherent, but I failed again, I should take a couple of writing classes to help me out with this crap. Haver a fun and safe week everyone, remember that Atheist people are just as moral if not more then the churchy folk. Have fun remembering the zombie cannibal this Sunday by colouring eggs and dressing like rabbits and eating butter shaped like a lamb. Don't get arrested, but come close so I get some good stories back!

Cheers,

Moriartty

Way to put your foot in your mouth American public (The serious post, hopefully the last)

2010-03-22T21:53:00.002-04:00

22 March, 2010

New, not so notable, somewhat serious, and contemplative. (Sorry, this probably won’t have any laughs in it, deal with it, Hippies)

Let me begin with reaffirming my hatred of politics and both of the major parties, especially the extremists housed in both and more notably the similarities between the hardcore right and the Taliban. I fucking hate them all and wish they would all just shut the hell up and get on with trying not to send this country spiraling into the seventh circle of hell. If you don’t know what Socialism, Marxism, Communism, or Fascism is, shut your inbred redneck ass the shit up. If you are so liberal that you would stand by and watch a gang on hairy Russians punch-fuck your wife and then serve them lemonade, shut your hippie ass up and cut your goddamned hair. I tried to stay out of politics with this blog as much as I could because it only starts fights and I am sure at least a couple of my regular readers are righties and I think I know who the hard leftie is, I have to go into it a bit, I will try to be un biased, but I am a slightly liberal atheist cat. I also use run on sentences, there are plenty more entertaining and educated sites to read and I won’t be hurt of you leave now.

My point… ah yes, I was listening to the news on the way home from work and they were talking about what happened Saturday in Washington DC. As some of the Democrat dudes were walking by the Tea Party protesters, they were spit at/on and called nigger’s and faggot’s as well as communists and a slew of other names. Now, I try to be a literal person as much of the time as I can be. I find humour in a lot of things others think is abhorrent, but this shit just pissed me off. The right wing and these tea bagging fucks tout all these religious (Protestant and Catholic predominately if I am not mistaken) morals and values and all the Jebus jive about tolerance, acceptance, and peace. (I’ll save the atheist rant for another time as many more can do it better than I anyway.) I do find it funny that the peace loving tolerant religious people are threatening to assassinate the president and members of Congress and the Senate, I do not find the actual threats funny at all, it is vile and illegal. I support the right to free speech and freedom of religion with all my sense of being, if you want a revolution, do it, stop whining and crying and do it, you have the right to protest peaceably. It is a fine and weird line and maybe I sound dualistic on this, but I think I know what I mean here.

I am not a huge fan of the government most of the time and I guess most American’s are not proponents of federal interaction in their personal shit. Seems to be the prevailing thought in the States. That being said, it was left to the “free market” and they fucked it up royally, not going to blame one party or the other because they are both full of fuck-tards. It needs to be fixed and if the individual states will or cannot and the “free market” keeps dragging us down, what other options have we left? I am not a huge fan of this new healthcare bill, there seems to me at least some problems not addressed and I don’t have a lot of faith that it will be worked on or cared about much now that it is passed, I worry mainly that now that people are required by law to have insurance, just like the laws dealing with car insurance in some states, at least here in New York, but there is nothing to stop the insurance companies from jacking prices every year like they are doing now. At least not that I have seen or heard yet. (My disclaimer goes here that I have not done a lot of research on this as of yet, so feel free to correct me and contact me to discuss this crap as long as you have valid points and evidence, no talking points or bullshit lines from either the left or right will be answered. Ex). Death panels, increasing deficit, etc.) It is good that they will not be able to deny as many people coverage and kick them off after years of paying once they finally need the damn insurance, though there will be scores of lawyers pouring through books to find the loopholes in this shit, I can promise you that. I also have a question for everyone, maybe it is just a coincidence or maybe I figured it out and I should be running things, just kidding. Anyway, how come it seems that regardless of education, how come people in higher paying jobs more often than not seem to be Republican? I am not saying all or that anyone is smarter, I personally think that more Democrats are better rational/critical thinkers and know many Democrats with degree’s/phd’s and very high paying jobs.

I think the entire thing all boils down to one issue that has not changed since the founding of the United States of America. The amount of federal fucking with of our personal lives. Everything seems to stem from this, it has been spun into corporatism running the right, they seem like they wont be happy until an oil company is president, and the left that seems to be quite the opposite. I think it is safe to say that it appears to be the case that American’s on the average have a problem with authority. We like to break rules and push things as far as we can rather than “go with the flow”. It has done some pretty cool shit for us as a society and for the human race as a whole in matters of new technology and the like. The problem arises when we are left to our own devices and we fuck it up, how do we fix it? How do we turn around a society based on all this tomfoolery, bribery, and bullshit? Can we even fix it at this point or are we doomed to run aground? I remember from some of my philosophy readings that Democracy was said to be the 4^th worst out of the 5 forms of government, descending into tyranny eventually. I don’t want to discuss the truth of this as it was only one dude’s opinion, but it seems to be the case that it has happened before and may happen here. How it didn’t under the Bush presidency is almost a shock to me, and I don’t see it happening with Obama, but this country is in a bad place currently. There are stirrings of movements that are similar to countries that had dictators and tyrant’s come to power. We are a nation founded by immigrants and outcasts who wanted something better for themselves and their children. It is time we stopped bitching about what our neighbor looks like, who they are attracted to, how we can have more shiny possessions than them, and what they believe happens after they die and start trying to help one another out and make decisions that are based on making things better for everyone, not just you. It seems to me that a democracy is majority rule, sometimes you will not get what you want, tough shit, life sucks, get a fucking helmet.

The last touchy subject I want to touch on today is immigration, I have mixed feelings about this, but I at least want to mention something I found amusing. On the radio Friday, I was listening to an illegal alien on talking about why he came here. While I am not against people coming here to get away from bad things, there is a right way to do it. We have this nifty little deal called political asylum, just for people like that. If you want to come here, all I ask is that you do it the right way, While a lot of illegal’s work and pay into social security as they work under “false” social security numbers and they more often than not do jobs most of us would never want to do, it is still wrong on some level. Not really getting into all that now, just wanted to mention that this retard is bragging about how he will be at some rally with a shit load of other illegal aliens protesting for more rights that they believe they are entitled to. This guy is on national news telling everyone he is here illegally and will be in a certain place at a certain time. He is just begging INS to come and pick through that crowd, serves him right. It also seems kind of narcissistic to walk into a place you don’t have a legal right to be and make demands as to how you wish to be treated, nowhere else in the world would this be tolerated. I certainly couldn’t sneak into another country or even another state and demand rights or money. Not to put Canada on the spot cause I like that place a lot and would like to move there eventually, but they won’t let U.S. citizens just come there and stay, they even made it a point to say they are pretty damn close to shutting their borders to us so we can’t flock there when this place goes down the tubes, I heard Denmark was the same way. No one wants us, the few of us left that aren’t greedy, self absorbed, maniacal retards that just want a decent life are stuck here getting pulled down and labeled like the few morons that make the news and the rest of the world see’s on TV. I have friends in other countries that are amazed at what they see on TV about the States and then even more shocked to find out I am not some jerk off and “Arrogant American”. I take pride in that, and I hope to change a few minds if I can. We aren’t all bad people.

At least I am not as bad as the pricks that leave the price tags on their clothes, hats, or cars. This is one group of people that really grinds my gears. No one thinks your cool because you paid three times as much for your car that does the same goddamned job that my hunk does. Get over yourself and clean off the fucking window so you don’t cut me off and run me off the road because you can’t see though the price sticker. Besides, you are probably too busy talking on your damn phone while driving, probably telling all of your fuck-tard friends how sweet your new whip is. If you cut me off, I’ll probably just hit you, the accident will be your fault and you stand to lose much more by fucking your car up than I doJ. My car already has a couple dings, (Thank you, you non driving ex girlfriend who shall remain nameless… yes, turning the wheel makes the car go to the side, not straight back! Holy shit!!!) one more won’t hurt my feelings. Besides, after you pull over, there is a good chance I will drag you out of your car through the window and beat your teeth out with your cell phone before ramming it down your fucking throat.

Ok, this is way too long so I will stop here and take my leave for the evening. Have a good week, try not to go too crazy and have some fun without getting tossed in the clink.

Cheers,

Kris

alcohol abuse or proactive anxiety prevention part 3. READ PART'S 1 AND 2 FIRST

2010-03-01T23:19:00.003-05:00

This is a pic of my bassist and I from the photo shoot, thought it was cool.

Onto to random jive, this should be easier than a retarded stripper with amnesia, I have notes;)

I have been wondering why it is that children, more often the women folk, seem to be hitting puberty earlier with every generation. Rather than blame the government for the food additives and shit like that, the first place I went was to wonder if it could ever get so bad that if you fucked your wife while she was pregnant if the kid could be born pregnant. I header a story that supposedly came from ABC that a woman that had a fucked up jive slice and could't shag or something like that, swallowed a load, and then sometime later was stabbed in the stomach and somehow the boys got into her shit and knocked her up due to the knife wound and what it did. This world is as fucked up as the people in it.

The Large Hadron Collider is about to do some wicked shit and I am pumped! I hope it disproves the existence of god once and for all, then maybe the wars can stop. Or... it may create a black hole or something even worse that wipes out humanity or the entire to the known and unknown in the blink of an eye. I say fire it up, I don't think they would do it if they thought it really would destroy the entire universe.

I heard on the news that Maryland was considering outlawing the marrying of first cousins. Now I support gay marriage, if they want to have the rights hetero's do, they should be entitled to them, cause they get all the bad shit too, divorce, in-laws, etc... Now I may sound dualistic or even hypocritical by saying this, but NO FUCKING SHIT!!! You don't marry a first cousin you retarded redneck fuck! Inbreeding is not cool, the kids suffer, and I am not down with people suffering from the stupidity of others when they have no say in the matter. Maybe it's just cause the only cousins I have met are ugly... Someone compared these two thing, but I think they are two separate issues. You don't get to choose your sexuality (unless your hammered, haha!) You can choose whether or not you are going to make a window licker kid in some aspects, like fucking your close blood relatives, that can be avoided.

This next section is for the fairer sex, I overheard a chick on break at school tonight freaking out cause she liked some dude. They are not dating, but she is pissed cause he fucked some broad and he should know that she likes him. It took a lot not to walk over to her and explain the world to her, but she is still young with hopes and dream so I let her go. Lesson #1. If we aren't dating you we will fuck whoever we damn well please unless there is some agreement in place that specifically denies that kind of action, and it won't happen without you putting out. Do not ever give a guy shit for shagging some chick cause you like him but won't ask him out or won't date him, your fault and your problem. If he broke the rules or you are together and he fucks around, cut his balls off and teach him a lesson, then punch the other cunt right in the ovaries, chicks always know that a guy is cheating, guys sometimes don't, whether due to their own purposeful ignorance, or being lied to. Guys are too dumb and vocal about shit, most chicks I know are much more secretive and cunning when it comes down to it, it really is a surprise that women don't rule the world. They probably do, but just let guys thunk they are in charge half the time, hahaha!

I was kind of watching tv the other night, not really paying attention cause I was reading the news online, but I thought I saw a suckers jam commercial that seemed to imply that the kid(s) in the commercial knew how to read because they ate this product. Are you fucking kidding me?! I think advertising and marketing people should be placed in a burlap sack after being skinned and thrown into a vat of salt water while people stand around and piss on them.

I tried the Google Buzz thing, what a waste, aside from being a major invasion of privacy, it was just dumb, I turned it off and urger you all to do the same if you have a Gmail account. I love Gmail and use a lot of it's jive, my phone is fully integrated with Google and it rocks, but the buzz thing just sucks, I hate facebook and myspace enough, this is just the worst thing ever. And this is for Spanky, if she is reading, what the FUCK is linkedin? You sent me the invite and I accepted and did some of the preliminary shit for it, but I have no clue what it is and what purpose it serves, hope it helped you by accepting, but please give me a bit of info on that whole thing.

Tammy and Red, hope I didn't wig you out or creep you out with my texts on Saturday, was in a real fucked up place, and I tried talking to a couple buddies who tried to make a joke out of it so I was just looking for soon to yak at for a bit. I was on the beer and not in the best of places.

The band is starting to piss me off royally. One thing is said at practice or decided, and then off the record during the week, shit goes down and deals get made with two of the three, or things get said that the third shouldn't hear and it is getting annoying. Either you are in or out and in for a certain purpose, no reason to grand stand or talk shit. With the funk I have been in since November, I really am about ready to tell them all what they can do about it, but then again I just spent about 2000 on making my drums sound better for being in a metal band and upgrading gear and still have more to go next time I get an infusion of cash, I hope I am not wasting my time and effort. I worry about money and touring and losing my apartment and job like the rest of them, even though they both live at home. They pay their share of the bills, but when push comes to shove, I will be the only one homeless, jobless, and carless after tour.

My lease ends in April, I have a place picked out I want to live, just need a roommate to do it. I don;t make enough to live on my own in a place I would be ok with moving into. The band talked about getting a house or at least one of them getting a place with me, but one wants to live in the party section of town with no free or included parking and far from everything I want to be close to, and the other wants to live in an area on the other side of the city I don't want to be in. Then there is the line of thinking that if I choose one, the other will be pissed, but they probably both will be if I go somewhere else, but I have had the best experiences with total strangers and women for roommates. Women are a little more clean/tidy and better with bills and strangers are on time. With friends people always try to let stuff slide and think it is ok to be late or be short on cash, the world doesn't work that way baby. Long story short, I need a roommate for May 1st, currently looking.

Ok, this has been enough shit, probably could have gone into more detail in some things and this self correcting type has probably fucked me more than it has helped, but here it is, the last bit of my life splayed open for you, my loyal fans, hahaha! I am going to make a better effort at this and to start reading your blogs again, just short in time, work and school and two bands aside from trying to make the gf feel like she matters cause she does and I like being with her more than I like being without her and that is as mushy as I am going to get about it, if she reads this she knows it's about the best compliment I can give her and her opinion s the one that matters on this issue, but if she doesn't think it is good enough, sorry.

Have a safe week all, have some fun, don't die and I will try to get to your stories and tales and let you know what I think of them, just may take a while.

The bitter (and possibly depressed, anxiety ridden, obsessive compulsory, alcoholic, and just plain f'd) Jarhead

much love

alcohol abuse or proactive anxiety prevention part 2. READ PART 1 FIRST

2010-03-01T22:45:00.003-05:00

That is the band, we did a photo shoot finally, this is one of the first pictures my bassist/backup singer (left) has had the time to edit and send us. We aren't putting the new pics up on the site till we get some new recordings done with the current line up playing on them (me). I play some of the songs on the site now when we do shows, but we play more of the new stuff we are writing, so if you are in the area and can catch a show, you will here a few songs from the site and some new shit too! Next show is 20 March, I'll post a flier in case anyone is local around then.

So, I am subbed out to another electrical contractor for the time being because my boss has no work, I have been working on a chicken farm in Pembroke, NY and spent the first 7 weeks mostly in the compost barn. This is where they store the chicken shit, rank ass jive, chicken manure is pretty rancid and they were using the barn for the storage of said shit for the last 3 weeks I was working in there. I had a video clip of it, but the quality was pretty bad. The people are decent I work with, but now apparently there is a discrepancy with my hours and I have to go haggle with the boss about it, foreman and I are not sure who fucked up, probably both if us did, an hour one week or another week, but there is one week where we don;t match by 8 hours. So now I look like an asshole who is trying to rip off my boss and have to deal with that shit, fuck me and now I will be worries to the point of stomach cramps about it till Thursday when I go in to talk with my boss about it and start figuring it out, only I haven't kept track, never heard anything in the 3 months I have been working with these guys so thought I was doing things properly. Need a better job, the old lady's old man offered to help me get into the boilermakers union though, 20 an hour to start take home, not a bad gig at all.

The first few weeks I was working on the farm, doing electrical work in the new barns they are building, I was working with this super femenazi chick. Now lets get one thing straight from the beginning, I am totally down with the woman's lib jive, I think it is about goddamn time you chicks got the fuck out of the house and made some scratch. This chick however, just hates men just because they are men and she must have gotten fucked over pretty bad. Every other sentence out of her horse toothed mouth was spewing hate about stupid men and how stupid they are and how smart she is and how she gets shit just because she is a chick. She wants everything both ways, and this is where I find fault with her and anyone like her who pretends to be a feminist. You don't get it both ways, you either get treated like every other guy on the job site, or we tone it down, and play nice around you and treat you like a lady and be chivalrous and all that. Pick one. You don't get the best of both worlds. I will treat you either way, just let me know, but I would rather treat you like an equal and like I treat everyone else. The last straw was when she went on a 20 minute tirade about how the government and corporations were against women in the workforce because a woman's work boot weighed less than a man's because it was made with less quality and women's carhart's are more expensive because she wanted some wee shade of pink ones and they require more material cause you chicks have can's. That is just stupid. We had to sit through her shit and listen to her and suck it up cause if any of us had said anything she told us she had her lawyer on speed dial and would sue the shit out if us, the company, and the owner of the job we were working on. I hate one sided shit , but like having a job...

I am going to apply for the boilermakers next month and see what happens, I may have to give up school for a while if I do get that job, but I will be able to afford my student loans so I could pull it off. I have been having second thoughts about the mechanical engineering thing, sitting in these law classes makes me think I could probably pull off being a lawyer and that would be a cool gig as well. Not sure what to do, law school would probably be a bit easier than an engineering degree, but the engineering degree I can get at night school, law, not so sure. I also plan on moving to Seattle next summer, there are a couple good engineering schools out there and apparently I have some family out there that might be able to help me out. Unless something drastic changes, I am going to head out there next year, I hate Buffalo, it is a dead city and the state if NY is so fucked it is not even funny. The country is fucked as a whole, don;t get me wrong there, but as much as I wanted to never get political with this, I may mention a couple things here tonight.

One of those things is the recent Supreme Court ruling that more or less says that corporation's now count as citizen's and have rights of free speech and can contribute unlimited amounts of money to campaign's. The entire government on every level is now for sale to the highest bidder. Not to mention that a lot of these corporations are multi matronal so that means that there will be a lot of foreign money funding our elections, just seems wrong to me. The gun rights thing is ramping up as well, saw a thing today on the Huffington Post that said Starbucks allows patrons to carry now. Weird, but not sure if I really have a big problem with it. It sounds shocking at first, but we do have the right to own weapons in this country in case the government ever gets out of hand and the people need to rise up and take it down. Should there be limits on it? Of course, I am not some whack-job that thinks everyone should walk around looking like a character from Halo or Doom, but I don't have a problem with people that are responsible and mature enough to have guns to have them within reason. I am not really sure where to draw the lines though, the people that use guns to do ill to others will do it no matter what the laws or regulations and I would not be caught in a position where I could not defend my house and family, if I ever get sucked into having one, haha! Things have gotten to a certain point in this country and now have to be dealt with in certain ways in order to prevent total fucking anarchy, does it suck? Yes, but sometimes it is the lesser of the evils I fear. Onto part 3, the random notes I have made of things I wanted to mention, I will work on learning how to do transitions, I promise, not sure when just bear with me for a while people...

It's not alcoholism, just proactive anxiety prevention, part 1.

2010-03-01T21:48:00.004-05:00

Ok, I know it has been a while since I have seen you fuckers and I miss you. I can make excuses and shit, but who really cares? Hopefully some of you will have not forgotten how we survived Nam and the Red Scare together and will lend an ear to an old cohort. This will probably be long as shit and pretty random, I may try to break this up into parts, depending on how much energy (beer) I have tonight. I will attempt not to go off on tangents too bad, but thats why I may break it up into a couple parts, still not sure how long one of these things is supposed to be... any input anyone?

Ok, first and foremost, the market was having a sale on girlfriends, so I picked on up that was last years model, saved a bundle, though she is a little broken, my kind of kid, by last years model I mean we met last year so put the pitchforks down. By broken I mean her butt, in case someone who reads this knows her I won't say what it is, but safe to say, no butt humpin for me. Not that that bothers me, never really cared one way or the other about it, know some dudes that won't shag a broad unless they can drop a load in her ass, not a big deal to me, the other side smells better and is more fun. The end result of this is that there will be no more drunken debauchery stories involving random chicks, there should still be some drunken escapades though, there have been a couple, but havent had the drive or income to do much lately, more on that later. So this chick is ok, we get along pretty good and I dig her. Not sure what else to say about her, she puts up with me and my shit, and her shit isn't too bad so far.

SIDE NOTE - If one mother fucker tells me that this doesn't make sense cause this ended up going into more than one part and they read the wrong part first, I will by the grace of some god hunt you down...

I finally have health insurance, I found out I am still eligible to get some benefits from the VA (Veterans Administration) and though my 5 yrs of free jive has ended, I still am poor enough to get stuff for free this year. Next year I will have to submit my income and see if I still qualify. When I bitch about being broke I mean it, the cutoff for free VA care was somewhere around 29k, I missed it by a good clip, partially due to being on un-enjoyment for 5 months, partly cause I have a shitty job that doesn't pay dick. Anyway, I went in and started running the line of doctors, and for some god forsaken reason, I was being honest with them, mistake number 1. Mistake number 1 came with what I am going to call my overlord of the VA, as far as I figure, it is her job to keep tabs on me and make sure I don't get fucked over too badly, show up to my appointments, and have someone to talk to whenever I need it. (m,w,f,9-4 if available...)

This was on my initial visit and working on background and all that jive. We were talking about sleep and my issues with it, mainly that I don't do it often or well except for the last two months, and thats all I have any inclination to do, even if I don't sleep, I just lay in bed all day unless I have to work or the boss (gf) drags me out of the house and makes me shave and go buy food. So this dame asks me about my sleep and I tell her a little about it and that I can only fall asleep sober in one specific position. She asks me what I mean by falling asleep sober. I almost walk the fuck out and even refrain from telling her that it obviously means when I am not drunk you stupid twat. Didn't think that would get me very far so I said it means exactly what it sounds like, when I am wrecked I can sleep anywhere and anyway, sober, not so much.

After the lecture on R.E.M. sleep and why I am an asshole, she recommends the behavioral science social worker, fuck me, now they think I am crazy, possibly with PTSD and now I have to deal with this shit and people asking me about why I drink so much and am so irritable and pissed off and anti social and sensitive to light and all that crap. I get the smoking lecture as well, and the high blood pressure lecture from the nurse too.

A couple weeks later I go to the social worker, in under 30 minutes this one pegs me with severe anxiety, depression, and obsessive compulsive disorder along with a drinking and tobacco problem. Wow... now I am left to wonder and overanalyze everything I think and do. Am I making an accuse and blaming it on that shit, or am I really some mutant freak? Although since about November, I have been on a pretty steady decline. I see the first real shrink on the 15th of this month, so we shall see. This past week/weekend was one of the worst. I wasn't in a bad mood per se, but I just didn't give a third of a shit about any possible thing in the world. Wish the misses wasn't around to see it, but she got a good helping of it and I felt bad for that. She knew something was up because I wasn't my usual chipper self... She asked what was wrong and I told her I just didn't care about anything at the moment and there was nothing that could make me feel anything for or about anything at that moment. The poor thing thought it was her or her fault so I was worried about that but she even went as far as to say "Well I bet if I blew you right now you would give a fuck." (She always knows just what to say:)) I just shrugged and looked at her and said " yeah I probably would tell you not to waste your time, I just don't care babe, nothing personal and I can't stress that enough, however, I am just that apathetic right now". Instead of calling me a fuck and leaving and gong to get some dick from someone who isn't a prick, she stayed, got bombed with me, didn't talk much, let me win a game of pool, and watched a bunch of weird al videos on youtube and most of Christopher Titus, Norman Rockwell is Bleeding, also on youtube. Couldn't ask for hardly any better of a broad. She didn't make it all through Titus though, fucker. You guys have to check that out, if you haven't, go to youtube and type in that title, it is 9 parts, and one of the best stand up video's ever. Maybe I do need to yak at some witch doctor (shrink) for an hour or so to figure something out, but I thought I was doing ok enough getting plowed and sleeping as much as possible.

Got stuck on the highway on the way to work Friday, 2 hours and 10 minutes without moving cause some dumb southern trucker doesn't realize you can't drive 75 in ice and slush and jack knifed his semi, the pic below is two of my buds from work who were stuck about half a mile behind me. The real bitch of it aside from losing time off the clock? The first tow truck on the way to save the day broke the fuck down... are you fucking kidding me?! Part two to follow... not editing, so forgive grammatical and spelling errors, I am in a hurry and have a lot to talk about, getting much more random from here on out...

fantasy beats reality, 0-1

2010-02-27T03:02:00.002-05:00

real post coming soon, if anyone is still listening...

apathy rules, fuck reality, the VA may be right but to hell with those pinko commie bastards!!! Let me know if I should waste my time...

Fuck two thousand and swine

2009-12-26T08:13:00.006-05:00

Don't know how to get music on here, so if possible and able, put the song "Life of Mine" from Five.Bolt.Main in the background as you read this to set the mood:)

Here I sit on Saturday morning, rather stand as I am in my office (basement) with a pot of coffee strong enough that my friend had to water it down (score 1 for me, seriously, this shit will pucker your asshole instantly, great shit.) and two sips had me running for the washroom to lose a few pounds of Christmas cookies. I have a pack of smokes, no hangover, the house to myself for the weekend, and an empty bed, I sure know how to fucking party, eh? Last night I got home from festivities around 1500 and played video games until 0000, had one and a half beers and talked to my cat about the year in review.

This is my new beer coozy, think it may be my new profile picture, I'll put it to a vote here, if the votes for yea outnumber the nay's it stays.

This is what 2000 and swine did to me, I am the deer on the left...

Like my partner in functional alcoholism V, the first few moments of new years eve stuff sucked fetid donkey balls. (cap's left off because I hate it that much) I was with the the girl I was dating at the time, the super hippie from Toronto, guess she couldn't find a date for the night. I had just gotten laid off a week before x-mas, and was stone sober because she didn't like booze of any kind. We sat on the couch and watched the ball drop, she didn't even kiss me, we went to bed and no play time for the white kid either:( She snored and hogged the covers too, bitch... The spring semester was hard and I didn't find a job until the end of May. I spent the summer drunk which was ok, playing with my two new bands and slowly realizing my new job sucked more than a hooker on pay day. Had a small hope that the tour my band was supposed to go on for 7 weeks would be the vacation and adventure I needed for my sanity and to punish my liver for burning dinner the week before... Well two weeks before it went off, after I had dropped school for the semester and all that, the band who shall remain nameless so I don't get sued, freaked out that we were going to make a measly 150 a show and get our rider of food and a hotel room. The two guys that bitched would have lost about 35 bucks a night with us getting paid. We were told we were now doing 7 weeks on the road for free and we should be lucky that we didn't have to pay them to play each show. They are a good band, they used to be kinda big, sort of... They don't warrant a pay to play tour, especially since we (my band I wasn't in the band for last years tour) toured with them last year and got paid, we are a national touring band for fuck sake, not as big as they are, but still in the same category, we are signed to a record label and have a fan base around the country for all intensive purposes. We did not go. My life has sucked immensely since tour was supposed to happen, my car broke down, had to borrow money and not pay bills to get it fixed, from me letting other people use my stuff at the open mic my other band hosts, I have $500 of shit to replace that I cannot afford and an important show tonight, my phone went for a swim (more on that later), and everything in general has just sucked. I can't help but think things would not have been so shitty had I been on the road, I also would have gotten to possibly meet and have beers with some of you hip cats and kittens, the three of you who read this dribble, ha ha ha! Had a good prospect on a new job, didn't go in my favour and went through one psycho bitch after another, each more fucked up than the last. And I cut my nipple shaving once over the summer too, hurt worse than getting it pierced.

This year for new years, I may have a gig, opening slot so I will be sweaty, half drunk, and downtown with 3000 worth of drums in my car on the night with the most crime, cops, and retards out imaginable. Gig probably won't happen, hope it doesn't, but the only offer I have so far is to go hang out with a skirt I can't fuck in a place where I can't get drunk. I have a show in Erie, PA on the first at night, so I can only drink till about 6am, but that isn't a problem, though I will probably just sit at the house and play a game that lets me knife people in the kidney's. I will be on the beer however, a couple of you may get drunk dialed/texted, but probably not, cause I have done it a couple times and no one is up or bored by the time I get housed, I don't call ex's and whine, I call random people and try to tell jokes or at least be entertaining, not sure if it works, ha ha ha! As far as a resolution goes? Not sure, not going to do the stupid hippie jive everyone else does, " I want to not be a fat fuck", or "I want world peace and babies not to cry", or "I am going to do this year for me", ect, fuck that shit, it is all just talk. A bunch of pathetic whining that never gets accomplished anyway. I guess I will just try to stay away from the psycho's and dick bags that made this last year so unrelentingly miserable.

So, last weekend I went to an ugly sweater party, it was a small crowd and really nice and cool people, hope I didn't make an ass out of myself and they would hang out with me again, I caught this one broad peepin me most the night, but her bud told me she is dating someone, wonder why that never came up when we were chatting, ha ha ha! Oh well, back into the pond. I was peeled and after about 13 beers, I was out and had to switch to Jack, my arch nemesis, I hate Jack more than I hate the homeless 22 yr old Nam vet who is better dressed than I am asking me for money outside of Walmart. That kid will die by my hand one day, and I promise it will be slow and painful and I will be laughing my dick off the entire time. By about my third mug of Jack, I think I remember my phone slipping out of my hand and into said beverage, fail. We ended up going to the local scissor hut after the party for a friend of a friends birthday party, I was still capable of coherent conversation too! Is it bad that even on 13 beers and a half bottle of Jack that people don't believe I am drunk? Instead of chasing tail with the other guys, my dumb ass spent an hour sitting outside chain smoking and talking to this dame about how to get the girl she liked to notice her. I should just hang my hat up now and become a fucking Eunic or however the sex you spell it. (mac dictionary has failed me again which means I am not even close!) I went to the T-mobile store the next morning after about 4 hours of sleep and a slight headache, the guy asks me what happened cause it has water damage. I told him what I remember and he asked if it was me that had booze scented cologne on. I told him how much I had imbibed the prior evening and he was astonished, not a good sign:) 130 fucking dollars to replace this hippie ass piece of shit phone WITH FUCKING INSURANCE!!! Well the 100 I had for x-mas shopping was gone, I officially suck. My mom saved the day by sending me a couple things to wrap for my sister's fuck trophies and my grandmother so I didn't look like a complete shit heel. She also replaced my drum tuner for xmas, it was "lost" earlier in the year but the guy that "didn't steal it and doesn't know anything about it" off'd himself so I can't bitch anymore... fucker.

Hoping to get some good pictures from the show tonight, rumor of an after party, not sure if it is true. Supposed to be a good crowd and a lot of people seem genuinely interested in the guitar raffle, we are autographing it for the winner at their request, hope it goes well, the proceeds from it are going towards our new PA.

My boss ran out of work/money so he loaned me to another company for a few weeks, going to see if they will hire me, but they probably won't since this group of electrical contractors work together and share employee's when needed. It is a bigger and better company though. I got back into school for January, have to do fin aid, and hope there are still some useful classes left open.

Have a good weekend everyone, be safe, but have a shit ton of fun, I look forward to reading/hearing about it!

Cheers,

The bitter Jarhead

Put some fucking pants on you slag!

2009-12-16T19:07:00.004-05:00

I thought of a new pick up line I wanted to test here because none of the three of you are close enough to punch me in the face for it in the event that it sucks... here goes. "Hey, want to eat, drink, or fuck together sometime?" This may be the line that lands me my dream girl, Weird Al described her very well in a song called "Close, but no cigar". A world famous billionaire bikini supermodel astrophysicist. Hip tune, check it out.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtMU8nvZzOs Hope the video works ok, but the audio was good on my witchcraft box...

I didn't do shit this past weekend so no horror stories, I skipped town and hid out at a friends house. I had to cook dinner and help clean, but I didn't have to talk to anyone or do fuck else and it was awesome. Kind of sucks she has a couple of fuck trophies, though methinks she is a little too religious for my taste in the long term and she is a sweet kid and deserves someone a little better off and on the same level as her. She is a cool friend and stuff though. This may end up being short but I do have a couple of things I would like to touch on as well as my first segment that I hope to make a consistent weekly thing I will unveil at towards the end. I am uploading a video, hope the quality is ok, I took it on my phone at work. If it is decent, I will try to do one a week of something cool of annoying:)

I submitted my application to re-enter school, do a semester at UB then applying to Buff State since they offer mechanical engineering at night and JewB doesn't. I wonder if I should be in a hurry to grow up or if I should just let things take their course. I mean I am 28 now and one foot in the grave, but come on, I am kind of glad I am not tied down with kids and a house and shit, I can still go play with my bands and have fun and don't have to answer to anyone for anything. I seem to notice most people my age have a career and all that shit though... I am a work in progress it seems, it is probably a good thing I don't have kids or a significant other currently, I couldn't afford either and I can barely take care of my own ass and keep myself out of trouble. Speaking of which, I am going to my first private party Friday night, yes thats how pathetic my life is, 28 and my first big party, hahaha! A local radio cat is hosting it, he has become a bud of mine through the metal band. It is an ugly sweater party, I have to go buy some nasty looking xmas sweater and wear it,m but there should be lots of booze and broads... Maybe I can have a stimulating conversation with a nice girl, and by that I mean some freaky drunken hate sex.

As long as we are on the subject of dames, I pose a question to both dudes and chicks. If you were toe opposite sex for a day, what would you do? I don't expect anyone to admit their answers to me, but I will share mine since I am that easily amused. I probably wouldn't get out of bed before noon because I would be enamored with my cans. I would probably just poke one and giggle at it over and over again then bitch cause they got in the way every time I moved or tried to pick something up. They are cool, and god bless you ladies for slingin them things around, but I am glad I don't have them myself. However, that is no excuse for you not to wear fucking pants. I cringe every time I see someone at school or out in public in their goddamned pajama pants or sweats, I mean come on, at least have the common courtesy to put some clothes on that you didn't sleep in. I am not saying I know sex about shit when it comes to fashion, some of you know this first hand:), but come on, I am about as unmotivated as it gets some days and I still put clean real clothes on when I leave the house. I own a couple pair of pajama pants and wear them at the house or if I am at someone else's piece and hanging out for the night watching movies and whatnot, but I don't put them on until I am there. At least track pants are real clothes and it makes people think you could be on the way to or from the gym...

My transitions suck tonight and for that I apologize, but if you are still here then lets fucking rock! My mind is all over the place tonight and I don't have enough booze in me to focus on one thing at a time yet so deal with it. I thought of a new slogan for my cover band, something to put right under the name when I get around to learning how to and actually re-making the website. it will read as such... "Zazz Blammymatazz... Lock up your fucking daughters!" My bass player loved it and it made me smile.

I received a huge shout out from my newest blogging friend Spanky. Her blog is called Spanky loves it, and is definitely worth a read, she likes Twatlight, but is still a hip chick. She told me I remind her of most of her ex's, that made me laugh as well as sit back and think, "Wow, pissed one off I have never even met... that is a new one." I know I am bad at the relationship game, but fuck, that is a new way to fail. However, big ups to Spank-a-tronic for the shout out!

I have been told by some people that I complain too much, first of all, Fuck you. Second, well, thats all I have. Not really, I do complain, I try to be humorous about it most of the time, but I think a lot of it comes from my time in the military. We complained and it kept us busy and helped us deal. I remember a few times during the war when food was slightly scarce and we were sitting around bitching that we were hungry. Shortly thereafter we had more MRE's delivered and tossed the case aside yelling about how we would rather starve than eat that shit... then we ate it:( Small example, but the point is this- I bitch alot, more than most and maybe too much, however, comma, pause for effect, as long as I can find something to bitch about, (and I will!) then everything is ok. Once shit gets bad enough that I can't even complain about anything, there is a clock tower awaiting V and I with a bottle of whiskey, bottle of vodka, and a couple rifles to begin the cleansing of all the mouth breathing fuck-tards.

Now, before I close I want to unveil my new section, I have named it "People I hope get raped by a rabid wombat". This weeks winner is that hypocritical, corn shucking, ass bag, Scott Stapp from Creed. I was so happy when they broke up, I though to myself, "Creed is gone, don't have to hear their shit music evermore!" But then the two factions each made their own band...

that both sounded JUST LIKE FUCKING CREED!!!!!!! Fuck?!?!?! I tore half of my hair out and strangled a hooker just to get over it. I stopped listening to radio, half because of that. Now those dick bags are back at it, and now he is bald I heard, what a fucking tool bag. I can't even think of a fate horrible enough for him, but I am trying.

I shall return soon, should have some good stories from the party this weekend, maybe I can find some trouble to get into Saturday night as well! Have a good week all, stay warm and safe, have a shit ton of fun and remember to fucking smile or laugh at something, it will keep you sane. Also if you need a laugh, I recommend a couple of podcast's that you can find in the Itunes store. Sick and Wrong, Vomitus Prime, and the Pissed off World of Uncle Hal Radio Show.

Cheers,

Kris

Take your happy-go-lucky motivational speech about rainbows and sunshine and shove it up your ass...

2009-12-10T06:53:00.005-05:00

Sorry for the delay, had some shit go down, I guess I'll start at the end and work back from there for the most part whilst trying to not be too random with a few other things so here goes...

Snow day at work today, it's 10 Dec, anyone in the North East knows what is goin down. Wish I was at work though, need the money, but didn't want to be outside all day in a foot or so of snow with temperatures hovering around 2 degrees fucking Kelvin. However, it gives me time to catch up on your blogs as well as write mine, sorry I have been absent friends. I had a bit of a meltdown the other day that fueled most of this, it stared last week.

I decided I hate my job, does this look like what a goddamned electrician does?!

I spent last week building signs for property my boss buys and wants to try to flip and learning a bit about changing shocks on a 61 mustang (think it's a 61, don't know sex about shit when it comes to cars...) Anyway, a week ago Sunday I decided to look for better jobs, something inside and more clean and nice with benefits maybe, if thats not too much to ask. I applied at Bank of America, a friend of mine works there and was helping me along with Red and another friend of mine with my resume, cover letter, and picking out something to wear for the interview. I submitted my application and within 12 hours I had an offer to take the online test to see if you would be any good at the collections job. Smoked the test, it was an hour long and you weren't supposed to finish, my time? 32 minutes fucking flat, suck it. Blew through the phone interview in 6 minutes and was offered a real interview for Monday the 7th. Knocked that out of the water. Tue went back for final interview... this cock sucker took one look at my resume and didn't want to listen to a word that came out of my mouth. He told me that there was nothing in my resume that qualified me in any way shape or form to do any aspect of this job that dealt with teamwork, stress, and people management along with being good with people. Noting? What about the 7 years in the Marines where I spent 6 months living in an M1-A1 fucking tank?! On a crew of 4 people, that takes some team work to stay alive, that could be a little stressful when PEOPLE ARE FUCKING SHOOTING AT YOU!!!!! Or how about when I as an E-4 was doing the job of someone 3 years ahead of me AND the job of someone with a 4 yr degree at the same time as doing my own job? Thats not people skills? Thats not getting shit done and managing my time and people? Fuck you, you piece of shit. Tuesday was the last straw for me, I left my house in a $1000 suit with a hope and a fucking dream, how stupid of me, but goddamn I do clean up pretty nice...

Yes, I did take out all of my piercings and was clean shaven when I went in, two hours later...

Add carharts, snow, cold, and me being soaked through and picking up scrap metal out of said snow for my boss at some house he bought for 8k that will take 50 to fix before he moves the house and garage to the other side of the lot... the yard is full of garbage and scrap metal and he wanted us to gather it up, what a change of pace eh? I received the "go to hell" email less than two hours after I left the bank, how did I make it so far so easily and then just get blown off? I spent a good amount of money getting ready and missing time from work that is unpaid for all these interviews too, pig. Oh well, keep looking I suppose. That change and that day just dropped the last shred of hope that I had though, I left work and told a couple people not to look for me and grabbed a case and a couple packs of smokes, went to my office (basement), turned my phone off, and did some work (got fucked up). Turned my phone back on after a few hours to vent to a couple people and saw 12 calls, 5 voice mails, and 10 texts from my bands pissed cause they couldn't get a hold of me. Ignored them all and called a buddy who let me bitch for a bit, but after 45 min of me yelling at him, pretending he was everyone I was pissed at he got sick of it and had to go, hahaha!

By about midnight or so, I was pretty worn out, and not so much pissed as much as just defeated. Wednesday was a little better, just completely apathetic about everything, I realized I am so stressed about money, work, bills, broads, bands, and everything else, that I get no enjoyment out of anything anymore, not even the stuff I normally love, music and booze, and friends. Everything seems to be an exercise in futility. Today is Thursday and I am a little better, just more bummed, but hoping I can keep looking for a new job, sick of construction, but no one in an office or anything wants to take a chance on a stupid construction worker who is x military. A couple people expressed genuine concern, a few pretended to care until they realized I wasn't dead, and then back to the same old shit once I was found to be ok enough to be of use to them.

Why does it seem that everyone has a hidden agenda? Are there no real friends anymore that would do something for the sake that they aren't an asshole? There are a few of you excluded from this and you know who you are, but for the most part it seems more of a friendship of usefulness, once they can't get anything out of you they stop wanting to hang out. Whatever, you will be weeded out and dealt with accordingly.

I do have a good story from the weekend... Saturday I went out for the first time in quite a while, didn't have much cash so I started at the practice space with a friend and we started drinking... hard. 2 hours later we went back to his place to get ready to leave and his mom did a few shots of brandy with me. I am currently at 12 beers and two glasses of brandy, lol. We hit the bar with another acquaintance. Come to find out, he wants to nail some chick who is a friend of mine, hadn't known before that, and he was pissed. Threw a bunch of shit at me and told me some nasty shit about the situation and got me kind of worked up, we left for another bar and then this scumbag ditches me in the middle of the city. I don't venture into downtown Buffalo often, don't know my way around too well, especially drunk and at night. My friend was apparently still at the bar and didn't know what had happened. I wandered around for an hour in the freezing cold and finally collapsed in a hotel lobby, was told to leave and flipped a dude off then started puking and passed out. Woken up by a cop some 30-60 minutes later who asked what the fuck I was doing there, I told him I didn't know, didn't know where I was because I am new to the city, was ditched by a "buddy" and was fucked up. Then my friend texted me and asked where the hell I was and why I had been gone for over an hour, (convenient timing I think, but maybe I am too paranoid...) so I told the cop what bar he was at and that he was my ride and instead of going to jail, I get a ride back to the bar and a piece of fucking gum! Tell me I don't have people skills, I dare you... Went back into the bar and continued to drink because I am that smart. I find out yesterday that the reason I still had the 25 in my wallet was because I used my card a couple times, though I suspect that the one dude had my wallet and when he handed me "his" card to buy me a drink cause he's a nice guy, he was fucking me dry. I never use my card, especially if I have money, apparently I was nice enough to buy slices after the bar closed as well... you motherfucking waste of sperm. Safe to say if I see that one fucktard again, I am probably going to shove a railroad spike straight down his fucking piss hole and chop off a couple of his fucking fingers. I may not extract my revenge from him, haven't decided yet, but if I do, stand the fuck by...

On a lighter not, the cover band played a couple weeks ago and we ended up with our first review! It was glowing, but it was on craigslist... what the hell? The dude loved us and said to check us out whenever we play and that we are a lot of fun. We were fucked up, and we did have fun, our cover band is more about good times and fun than anything else, we play 90's grunge and we are all pretty good musicians so we can play those easy tunes and fuck with each other while hammered:) Zazz Blammymatazz, my cover band, is a load of fun, the stress isn't there like in DisplaceD, we don't have a record label breathing down our necks to hurry and finish our new album so we can tour again.

Speaking of my metal band, to anyone in the area, 26 Dec we are playing a big show at a newly revamped and re-themed (insert proper word there) metal bar called Broadway Joe's. New sound system and stuff, we are doing a signed guitar raffle and have a couple of other cool bands opening for us. We also hired the best light guy in the tri-state area to put the icing on the cake for the show. It will be a blast if your in town, let me know, there are a couple spots on the guest list available and I am single so don't have anyone on there yet. We are also playing in Erie, PA on Friday, 1 January, supposed to be another great show so feel free to stop on in to either and have a beer with us! www.myspace.com/displaced We have one or two brand new songs we will be playing that will be on the new album coming out sometime in 2010.

More randomness, no good segue's left just some random notes I made over the last week or so I want to touch on. You cat's know I hate dealing with religion and politics here, however it is worth mentioning that the gay marriage thingy was shot down in New York. People are so scared of something and I don't get it, who the shit cares if they get married? For all those people like Jabba the Rush who complain about the sanctity of marriage, mother fucker, your on your fourth one, you fat, drug riddled, stupid piece of shit. You'll be rotting in hell, if it exists, before anyone else. While we are touching on fat people, sometimes I wish I was a fat fuck, then I could wear shorts all winter long and not be cold. I get a huge kick out of seeing these folks when it is below freezing out and they are waddling around in shorts like it's 30 years in the future and global warming has eradicated winter and the coastline. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm glad I'm not fat, not like I am the most in shape person, but I at least take moderate care of myself because I am not lazy. Granted, there are about 3% of people who are over weight who are actually medically buggared, but the rest are just lazy. If your offended, I don't care, probably means your one of them, I set my mind to it and lost weight when I started getting a gut a few years ago, if I can get something accomplished for my absent minded, easily distracted self, anyone can.

A couple of weeks ago at open mic, this kid came up to me when I ventured outside for a smoke and stared free-styling for about 4 minutes straight right in my face, anyone else ever have this happen? I wanted to cut his tongue out with my beer bottle, fuck I hate those people. If I wanted to hear shitty poetry and you brag about how great you think you are, how bad you are, and how much your lying about your ability to please skanky crackhead women and how big you want me to believe your prick is, I would go to a hip hop joint, not a fucking hard rock/metal bar for a musical open mic. I especially hate people who deliberately try to fake accents or ways of speaking that are completely unnatural and it is glaringly obvious. Although I thought of something that made me laugh along the lines of accents... If you say the phrase "thrill of the hunt" with that throaty middle eastern/Israeli thing that I can't do but sounds like hacking up a loogey, the last word sounds delightfully filthy and makes me giggle:) Yes I am that easily amused, sorry to those of you who thought I was a deep person, hahaha! I also am still getting the biggest kick out of facebook now that I switched the language to have my whole page in Pirate. It's in your language options on the bottom left on the home/news page. Go into the English part and look for Pirate, it is funny as shit.

Last note, my friend Red has launched a new blog about traveling and stuff and it is def worth a read, the link is http://www.cacdicedoestheworld.com

Hope everyone has a good rest of the week and weekend, I am skipping town for the weekend to a place with little to no reception and no interweb to chill out for a bit. Be safe, have fun, and come back with good stories!

Cheers and stay warm,

Kris

The emo blog, it will be the only one I hope I can promise...

2009-11-30T18:19:00.002-05:00

So Monday I was grocery shopping at Wal-Mart, because that is where I can afford to shop these days, a step above Aldi’s but still piss poor. Anyway, I try to be a nice person and not make fun of people, but this was just too funny… This skirt was sashaying down an isle and god bless her, she tried so hard to pretend like she had an ass, alas even with tight pants, some impressive heeled boots, and a concentrated effort in her walking, it was to no avail. Why the fuck are you trolling for dick in a goddamned Wal-Mart?! That is my first question. It was too early to be drunk and not the first of the month so I was at a loss. I might be an asshole for getting a kick out of this, but hey, I did so if you don’t like it you can pound sand.

I was thinking about this even now as I am writing and think it may be able to go under a heading named “You know it’s time to change your life when…” I have a couple thus far, feel free to add in the comment section, (I reply to all comments left in the comment section with comments left in the comment section… how redundant is that? Fuck me…)

You have to grocery shop at Wal-Mart and still worry about bouncing your account.

A stripper with two kids and more problems, issues, and drama than is entirely fathomable tells you YOU are fucked up and need help.

You can’t use the washroom at work because your boss ridicules and then gets mad and yells at you for your become OCD tendencies.

That is all I have for now, but it is only Monday, I am sure the week will only get more shitty as I work outside and deprive myself of sleep all week long. I was reading my friend V’s blog and she mentioned how she was getting half lit up before she went to her reunion. Made the comment, “Yes, I use alcohol as a crutch. No, I don't feel bad about that.” I realize that is true of myself as well, and I feel the same way about it, most people just won’t admit it. I can’t make it sound as funny as her, but it is what it is…

I am watching the old boob tube whilst working on this piece of literary cat litter that I hope will get a laugh out of someone somewhere, and wonder if when seeing the success all around me, if I should be inspired and motivated, or feel like shit because I am 28 and have fuck-all to show for it. Not just on TV because it’s just for ratings and money, but in my day and travels as well, most people I associate with are doing pretty well for themselves. They have good jobs or at least ones that pay well, nice vehicles, houses in good locations or apartments/condo’s/what have you. I wonder where I went wrong, like there was one little slip I made that landed me where I am now?

Maybe I am too paranoid and think people are set against me and working to undermine my efforts in life, maybe I am too cynical and it’s wrong to start with the assumption that everyone is full of shit and putting me on to further their own agenda in which I am a mere pawn for their use/amusement… but mayhaps not, dear reader. I can admit I’m kinda dumb, I may cock something up and then do it a couple more times just for good measure, but I am not a retard, I am pretty bright where my emotions are not concerned. Yet as I hack my through this briar patch of psycho bitches that seems to have become my love life as it ma be, I become less and less willing to believe or trust what I am told. “I am not like the other girls you dated…” Oh yeah? Why is that, you have three fucking cans or something? Because that is the only kind of weird and crazy I have yet to encounter, and that would be a welcome fucking relief. I find it amusing (infuriating) that I hear that line and then two days later I see them doing and /or saying the same old shit that means they are up to no good. Benefit of the doubt be damned, don’t act like you have something to hide if you do not. Oh, and while we are at it, don’t wait till I dump you, then try to dump me the next day, your pathetic attempt at rationalization because you can’t handle rejection disgust me. Another one that intrigues me is watching how she gets more mad after the fact. Attempt 2 at re-dumping me was somewhat nice, were it believable… then 12 hours later I get a scathing email (yes email because she won’t call or answer her phone and won’t text or respond to a text.) on facebook no less, not even a real mother fucking email, telling me how fucked up I am and how I already got “out of line”… like I am a fucking dog that did something wrong and needs to be spanked, who the FUCK put you together woman?!

I did stop short of being too nasty with her, I had two lines I could have thrown out that would have stopped the fight, and all subsequent communication afterwards, but hey, only knew her a few weeks, not that worried if I never hear from her again. I almost told her that now I understand why every guy she has ever dated has beaten the living shit out of her. I also decided not to mention that I believe she lost the weight after her kid’s by not eating and binge drinking and using copious amounts of drugs, but even after all that for a 24 yr old she had the tits of a 40 yr old and stretch marks that looked like the face of a mountain. I felt that would have been too much and it would have only been to be mean, I don’t really believe those things. Well, that is enough for a Monday evening, have a test for a new job (hopefully) tonight and practice. I hope to get out at some point this week so I can have some good stories for you. It’s Monday and I am already done with this week, ready for a case of beer, carton of smokes, and trying to find some dame to drown my sorrows (jive rod) in. Perfect? No, Best moral course of action? Mayhaps not, but everyone knows up front what they are getting and they are there by choice.

Explanations, musings, and some of the same old shit...

2009-11-28T08:16:00.004-05:00

Ok... so... it appears some explanations are required for those of you who do not know me that well and get my terminology and sense of humour. For those of you that do, you can skip down to below the picture of me in front of a bonfire and continue from there, this has the potential to be lengthy... Mostly this is for Spanky, for even though she likes Twilight (which will be referred in the future as Twatlight), she is still a hip cat but there may be more like her and especially new readers may want to peruse this section before diving in head first to the rest of my twisted world and paranoid ramblings:)

I will try to answer/reply to your questions and comments as well as explain my self to you, so here goes...

I ended up on your blog randomly, not exactly sure how, but something caught my eye as I was wandering around the inter-web. I try to get other people perspectives and thoughts on things in general as well as see how different pages look and how to make mine look better and hopefully attract new readers. My goal over all with this is to vent first and foremost, second to get a laugh or at least amuse those who stop by and third to hopefully assimilate better writing skills. I also use this as another avenue to talk about my bands when they are doing things, but am contemplating a separate blog for that as it will mostly be fliers for shows and things of that nature. Just because we do not see eye to eye on everything and agree on everything does not mean we can't get a kick out of each others sites and all that jive. Most people who read this probably think I am bat-shit crazy and should be locked away from sharp objects and the general public:) Some of you are just as fucked up as I am.

I do swear a lot, 90% of the time I write this blog when I am pretty worked up and usually more than a little drunk. I assemble my rants and just let it fly because I do not have the chance to in the people world most of the time, I try to make it funny when I can, however, sometimes I just get going and need to vent my face off and blow off some steam. I usually make an attempt to keep the vulgarities to a minimum unless I am just completely livid.

I did not mean to come across as belittling religious cats, I used to be, not so much anymore. Seems silly to me on most levels, but most of my friends are religious in one form or another and we chat and debate about it. I served 7 years in the Marines so people can believe what ever they want. that being said, I also have my own opinions about the matter and am able to take a joke in the same regard. There will always be someone telling you your belief is wrong, I will try not to because I don't really know if it is or not, the most optimistic probability you can assign to any set of beliefs about all that jive is .5 In the end, no one knows what is and isn't because none of us have ever been there in the here after if it exists. I will make an occasional joke about religion and people can joke about my lack of a choice in one or the lack of a decision to become an atheist. I am open to discussion and debate and learning new things, just don't force yours upon me and I will reciprocate.

It's not my fault your a dirty hippie (kidding :-P ) I don't have a problem with hippies, I just like the word and it is about the only thing you can call someone without being sued these days. I am even part hippie myself, I think it is my esophagus, lower intestine, and right leg. I am a supporter of peace on earth and all that rubbish, not very optimistic about it, but do dig the idea. The love thing is another issue, there are things that are tangible in life I do love, like my drumming, Family Guy, my cat, things of that nature. As far as the love thing goes for people and relationships, the jury is still out on that one. Seems to be almost more of a symbiotic relationship of sorts. My quote/thought on the issue as of late seems to follow this thought strain... It's just finding a brand of crazy you can put up with, and one that can stand to be around you and your bull shit. I say again, I am open to debate and rethinking the matter, but that is my current opinion, however "Semper Gumbi" is the motto to live by for me these days, things change, viewpoints change, that comes from learning and living. I also shower daily, usually two or three times due to my bands and gigs and all that rot.

Honest and sincere people are hard to come by these days, the two other people who read this and comment are in this category, you are placed there as well, Spanky. I appreciate it and welcome it and look forward to commenting back and forth and debating things with you, you are an eloquent writer and seem to have some interesting things going on in that brain housing group of yours. I will quote the Southwest Airlines commercial I get suck a kick out of to close this section... "Grab your bag... it's on!

Welcome back dear reader, this will be my second sober post ever of the 26 I believe that are on here, buggered on coffee but went to bed too early and have been up since 4am and on the caffeine since 0530, current time stamp is 0846. Headed upstairs to take the picture for Red and V, one of you cats has to tell me how to make your name a clickable link to your blog. Also have to start another pot of happy juice, go grab a smoke and I'll probably be back when you are:)

Ok, first off let me apologize for the lack of a hair cut and the piercing's, I have been out for some time now, but it still fits like a fucking glove! I also am working on a beard for the winter, not sure yet if I am going to keep it up or just go back to the goatee. The pic was taken on my phone as I lack a camera, but thats me in uniform...

Now I have some ideas once in a while, and sometimes even go as far as to try to implement them, one of my latest is a dear Abbey thing, only I tell you how to tell that special person in your life exactly what you think of them and how to tell them to pound sand, or at least listen to your bitching and offer advice, sometimes I can honestly help out and telling the person to fornicate them selves with a rusted railroad spike is not always the correct avenue of approach. I would like to call this section Blunt Force Drama. Not sure if I am going to do it or if anyone would even ask me for my opinion, but if I get question's, I will do a section at the end of every blog with the questions and answers. My own love life may be a disaster and retarded from the outside, however I have saved a few relationships of others, and helped a few people to get out of bad situations.

(This is my fav pic from the last DisplaceD show, www.myspace.com/displaced)

I am filling in for a friends band tonight at a show, they currently lack a drummer. (Anyone wants more info email me, klhammerick@gmail.com) The name if the band is 240 North and they are a rock 'n roll/blues ish kind of band. Good tunes and fun to play, I did my first jam with them to learn the tunes last Friday. the tunes were easy for me to learn, and only a couple of snags, it's a style I used to play a lot of and is easy once the basic structure is down. We had a lot of fun and got haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammered on beer and whiskey and even after all that, they still offered me the gig full time on the spot, after never hearing their tunes before and playing them wasted. I regretfully have to turn them down as I am already in two bands, working full time, and will be back in school in January. Wish I had the time for it, they are hip cats and have some good tunes. Playing a double header gig tonight with them (Sat, 28 Nov) at a place in Buffalo called Club Diablo, I play in the second band which is the 240 cats, then my 90's grunge cover band, Zazz Blammymatazz plays for another hour or so. If anyone is in the area and wants to stop by, hit me up at the above email address. I have one of those witchcraft phones that does all that hippie jive on it. It's cool to be in demand as a drummer, the open mic my cover band hosts has a couple other groups that want me to drum for them as well, I can at open mic because I am already there, but if they all had their way, I would be playing every Tue from 7:30 till 4:00 the next morning and that would suck when I have to be at work at 7 am. I try to do as much as I can, and feel bad when I can't help the other dude's out, but I am only one little cracker and only have so much time on my hands. No matter what city you live in though, go check out some of the local bands of whatever genre you dig, we bust our asses to bring good tunes to the public and good performance, money isn't a big deal, we are much happier when people are dancing or watching us play and having a good time. Us musicians love to meet new people and network and even have a few beers now and again with out patrons, always looking for new fans and friends.

Anyone ever dump someone and then a few hours/days/or even in the same conversation they turn it to make it them dumping you instead? I get a particularly good giggle out of that and it is one of the things that interests me in psychology. I don't know sex about shit when it comes to psych, but I do know that everyone needs to be the hero in their own story and some people just can't deal with rejection and have to rationalize things just so they can get out of bed in the morning. I will admit I have done this before, sometimes it helps getting over a particularly bad relationship, but I still don't let me lie to myself. Short term feel goods help sometimes, but I always remember what happened and try to learn from it as to not repeat the same mistakes further down the line. Damn that sounds good on paper, I could be better at that than I actually am, put that one on the list...

I also have an idea for a new super hero, some of the more memorable ex girlfriends, are usually the basis of this, it keeps me sane and makes me smile. Some of you should get a giggle out of it as well I hope. My favourite one to date is still Cokey the Wunderlush. This heroine has the amazing ability to do more blow than can be stored in a pick up truck bed and wash it down with a couple cases of beer and not eat or sleep for days on end. She was a gifted story teller and could be seen saving the world from cocaine by doing it all before anyone else could get any. (I don't do coke by the way, did once, never again, it was pointless and it's expensive. I stick to booze and cigg's.) Alcoholic by day and coke binger by night, this fair maiden could regenerate nose cartilage by the square foot it seemed, surely an admirable trait... She also sometimes didn't have money for said fun having accessories, but that is no match for a super hero such as this, he could fuck ANYthing to get more, so I found out after we had broken up...

The newest one is a lesser known and not quite as active hero. Still working on it, but I have a decent start. Pale as death and sketchy as Picasso, The Flake brings emotional wreckage and drama to a whole new terrifying level, be warned evil doers, one encounter with this frosty lass will surely put you in a state of confusion and self loathing. Able to ignore any situation for months on end and able to concoct the most mind numbing stories that ride the border of fact and fiction so closely, the two cannot be separated with the finest of knives. This heroine even comes equipped with camouflage (freckles) to blend in amongst the masses. A crafty and cunning linguist (no lesbian joke, honest, don't think is a switch hitter) she has the ability to barter for anything she needs from anyone she needs it from. And the best part? You get nothing in return! Ever!! Win Win situation for everyone, and by everyone, I mean that with all applicable sarcasm... Needs revision and to be not quite so bitter, but I will revise:)

I do not like how men seem to be portrayed on television these days, or couples in general. I do agree it is about time that women are portrayed in a good light, not as stupid door mat's and housewives, but can't both people be honest and hard working? Does one always have to be fat and stupid? Now I do agree that there are far more fat, stupid, mouth breathing half wits out there, especially in this country, however, not everyone is like that. Not every relationship has cheating in it (I hope) or one person always beating the other down and ridiculing them. I do get a chuckle out of some of these shows, but it is going too far. King of Queens, Simpsons, and Family Guy are perfect examples of this. The dude in the show is fat, stupid, and a pussy. Careless and in the latter of the two doesn't give two shit about his mate most of the time. I think this is kind of fucked up. What ever happened to two cats diggin each other and god forbid helping each other out and being nice to and there for each other? Is that an old fashioned view point? No wonder the divorce rate is so high these days...

For all you homeopathic medicine people out there... I try like hell to stay away from politics, religion, and beliefs here, I feel we should be here to be friendly, honest, and not to start wars... but, I feel this fad has been de bunked, at least it has been well enough for me. My point here is slightly more comical though I hope. I have a better solution for all of you that buy these colon cleansing products that create the problem they claim to solve. (Really, read the ingredients, some are made from something akin to cat litter...) My solution is easier, cheaper, and a lot more fun. Eat some good and hot ass chili and maybe even some Taco Bell or Jim's Steak-out (local sub place in B-lo) and in the morning, have a couple cups of some strong, dark coffee along with a couple smokes. Have faith fair citizens, this will purge your system from the freakin eyeballs down and you'll lose about 5 pounds by the time you have left the loo, may be more than one trip, but screw it, it's Saturday morning, you have better plans?

So this chick that is supposed to be my new girlfriend of sorts I guess is being very scarce, when I am nice and try to be there and helpful, she doesn't respond, when I finally get pissed and send a scathing message since she won't respond to text's and sends call's to voicemail prematurely, (yes people know when you do it so stop it everyone. Just hit the volume button to silence the ringer, not the end button to send to voicemail, then we know your being a dick) thats when I get a response, then we talk a bit then the next day I try to be nice or supportive and the cycle begins again. Haven't had a real conversation with her in about a week, haven't even seen her in two. Now I am famous for over analyzing things and being paranoid and figuring the worst will usually happen, but there is still a chance I am just too paranoid and need to relax and she really does need some time to sort things out and sometimes want a couple days with out me bugging her. But, for the sake of everything holy, don't make a huge deal that I call you the next day and then you ignore me for two days, that just seems silly to me. If your not diggin it, just say so, simple solution to a simple problem. If you are busy or depressed or whatever, it still isn't too much to ask to take 10 seconds away from everything and shoot a quick text to say your busy or whatever, after all you have plenty of time to fart around on facebook and buy weed and booze for your sister and her friends and "not do it with them" and "be sitting alone in your room all the time". It's been two weeks, and if I may be so vulgar as to say, daddy is feeling kinda froggy, don't make the purchase of the clown mask and the can of crisco go to waste. I would like to think that she is not out there being the star of the new bukake film or trying to set a personal record for most cats shagged in a weekend, however (extreme, yes I know just making a point.) sometimes I wonder, I know the company she seems to keep on a regular basis, and if you show me your friends, I'll tell you a few things about yourself.

This has gone on long enough, probably too long I fear, hope I have not bored you all. Have a good and safe weekend and don't be a dick.

Yours from the bat cave,

The bitter Jarhead

:-P

Maybe I like punishment... heh heh

2009-11-19T16:36:00.006-05:00

So I noticed the other day whilst re-reading some of my postings on this fair site that I have been kind of politically correct and have tip toed around a few things because a few people that actually know me read (but probably not anymore, hahaha!) this thingamajig here. I don't really know why I backed off, but fuck that shit, why should I give a damn about your feelings, you probably already know your an asshole anyway. Time to get bitter mwahahahahahahaha!!

Now, I have been hangin out with this skirt for a couple weeks now, not too bad, she seems nice and pretty sincere, has two fuck trophies, but didn't really mind that so much. However, after a couple weeks, I think I should get a better response when seeking a plan to be in the same place at the same time four days from now than "I'll have to see, don't know what's going on yet" Bitch, make a goddamned plan or tell me that our original deal is back on and we're just going to fuck each others brains out in a drunken stupor every now and again. Don't feed me shit to make me think it is something more than that and then act like I'm your fucking fall back plan. Don't need it, have better way's to occupy my time. Also, don't act sketchy if there is no reason to, if you don't want to hang on a particular night, just fucking say so. Don't tell me your hanging with your step mom and then the next day when I ask a question about her, get super defensive and tell me you can talk to whomever you desire. One, that makes no sense in regards to your step mom, B, who brought that topic up? Why would you unless your full of shit and just didn't have the ovaries to tell me you had a better offer for the night? I don't get it, don't frikkin get it ladies and gentlemen, but, about done dealing with bullshit. A lot less stress and a few more bucks in my pocket just to crank one out on the shitter and go to bed with all the covers and more than a quarter of the bed. One last thing, don't tell me your going to do shit and then jew me at the last second, if you had no intention in the first place, then DON'T FUCKING OFFER!!! I swear to everything holy, I am about ready to climb a fucking clock tower and pick off all these mouth breathing, hippie ass, semi retarded twat waffles. I just don't get why people feel the need to blatantly lie to my face, just keep your fucking trap shut and these issues won't arise you fucking maggot. Oh yeah, I swear a fuck ton too, get used to it, the next person that mentions in passing that only dumb people swear because they can't think of real words is going to get punched in the neck with a broken beer bottle and have a smoke put out on their piss hole. About done being nice to people, trying to be there for them and trying to help them out, you want a favour? Fuck off. Pick a fairy tale, uh I mean religion and pray to thin air, dick bag. Better yet, want in one hand and shit in the other and see which one fills up first.

Now to lighten the mood, I will venture into my office (the basement) and have a smoke, then return with a joke I heard on one of my favourite pod-casts today, Episode 200 of Sick and Wrong. Here goes...

A paper bag goes to the doctor and is sat down in the exam room, the doctor looks sad and informs the bag that it has AIDS. The bag is confused and replies "but Doc, I have never had anything in me, how could this have happened?" The doctor replies " Well, your mom must have been a carrier..."

The new Twilight movie is coming out, man oh man, I was drug to the first abortion in the theater... I love vampire movies, fucking love them, so I didn't know sex about shit about this movie and went along with it since I wasn't going to get to see Yes Man, bitch. Anyhoo, what a suck-fest, shouldn't even be called a vampire flick, it was some stupid sappy story about some dumb fuck kids. Vampires walking around in daylight and many other things pissed me off about it, would have walked out if I had known how to get back home, but was up in Toronto in an area I didn't know. The new one has werewolves in it, wonder how bad they fucked this one up? Almost as bad as a series of vamp books from I think her name is Laurrel K. Hamilton, but not 100% on that, had some vamp slayer chick and 98% of the book was her thinking "should I fuck this cat or no?" arguing back and forth, the second half of the book was "should I feel bad about fucking this dude or not?" with multiple guys all throughout. What a lame ass story, if I put the time into a vampire adventure be it in print or one of them there movin picture thingy's, I want death, blood, guts, fighting, cool stunts and effects, shit burning, and all that jive. If I want a shit box love story, I'll turn on the WE network or lifetime channel.

Busy week coming up, out of the next 10 days, 9 will be devoted to bands and 8 to work, maybe more if I pick up a side job cause I am still short on money from the car fiasco, worse now that the "person of interest" borrowed some cash and now appears to have no intention of paying it back. I took a third band on as a temp thing to help out a friend of my guitar player, the band is a rock and roll band called 240 North and their drummer had surgery or something like that so I get three practices to learn an hour of music along with tighten up the set with my cover band who is playing the show as well. The metal band is also hard at work writing a new album so it will be a very tiring week starting tonight. Fun, but very tiring, playing my ass off for 3 hours straight, but since I'm playing in two bands that night, I get twice as many free drink chips:)

Work sucks, no real job at the moment so we are organizing and re-doing the layout at the shop. Miserable work, today I sorted out a pile of wire for temporary lighting from the last job, a tangled rats nest of wire with big plastic globes on it in various pieces, probably about 1000-1500 feet of wire altogether, took me 6 hours or so. Have most the rest of the joint sorted out, cleaned up, and organized, I can actually find tools now and even most of the supplies, still more to go, but it will be nice to find what I need.

I have decided that I require a vacation, however I have not the money or the time off work to do so... would like to just get in my car or on a plane and get as far away as I can in about 6-8 hours on whatever method of travel I decide and just hole up in a hotel for about a week, hit some bars, find some good restaurants, and find some hip people to hang out with. I so fucking wish the tour had gone on as planned, ever since the first show we were supposed to play, things have sucked monkey ass. The next lecture I have to sit through being told that "everything happens for a reason" and "you have to look for the good in all situation's" is going to end with the rending of the flesh of their neck with my goddamned teeth. You tell me the up side of losing a week of work, owing someone 500 bones, having to defer my car payment, still being 100 bucks short for bills for the month, and starting to wonder if your new girl is really just playing you and keeping you around as her last resort when she can't find a rich guy who makes Tommy Lee look like an infant. I'll wait....... Three minutes later and I still do not have an answer, hahaha!

Sorry V, no time for a pic tonight, not sure if I want to put it up on here or just email it to you, but I don't have your email so... guess I should put it to a vote. If I get enough positive responses I will put it up here, if not I'll just email it to you. For the rest of you, we were chatting about the Marine Birthday last week, and it came up that maybe there should be a picture of me in my dress blues somewhere. I do have to warn, I don't have the haircut anymore, I have a goatee, and a few piercing's that I am not getting rid of and just my phone to take the picture, however, if you guys (the three of you who read this, hahaha!) want to see it, let me know.

I do have a couple pics I took at work today, one of about 1/3 to 1/2 of the lights I had to sort through, and the other is hopefully conveying just how excited I am about said task.

Supplemental update/afterthought... There is always the chance I am jumping at shadows since I am used to things not going well in the chick department, could just be a coincidence, however, there is something to be said for trusting your gut reaction to things. Unsure of how to proceed, need more pondering and some beer to work on this as well as time to let it play out and remain on the logical side versus the emotionally driven side of things.

Fuck this week...

2009-11-12T13:35:00.003-05:00

Tuesday started out ok, it was the Marine Birthday, 234 years of killing people and breaking things and lots of booze:) Had a meeting with a production company for my band and then off to my Tue night gig at open mic where my other band hosts/runs the evening at Broadway Joe's in Buffalo. I leave the house with a flask I had found under my seat that had some gin in it from last summer, a few beers in my backpack and my dress blues in the back of my car to wear after we were done playing. Midnight ushered in Vets day so there was much drinking to do and my bassist from the cover band is an Army vet so it was fucking on!

Pull into the gas station for a bit of petrol and a Xyenergy (liquid freakin cocaine, love the stuff) and hit a pot hole pulling in, get out and see my rim is fucked and broke the seal on the tire, why not? I grab my donut spare and tools and figure I'll be a few min late, but no worries, what could possibly go wrong? You guessed it, stripped a couple lug nuts because the fucking retarded hippie fucks at Walmart over torqued the nuts so bad the tow truck guy, who was an hour late and had his little fuck toy in the truck with him, couldn't even budge them with a high power impact gun. My bass player had already left for the meeting and I was just going to have to miss it, he would come back for me to take me to the gig. I get my car towed home and my boss tells me some bullshit story about me not being covered on his insurance to drive a company truck. All this after he took 2 copies of my license so I could drive the truck, and he told me I could use it to bring some pallets home to burn, and the chicky that works in the office had the other company vehicle at home, cock sucker. My new "person of interest" (dame that shares her jive pipe with me) has no insurance and lapsed registration, so no help there.

So my bass player picks me up and we get to the gig almost too late to really play much and I don't have my shit with me, stuck with the house kit that has all broken cymbals, busted snare drum and no double bass pedal. We start pounding whiskey and beer and go play, after 5 songs we cease this exercise in futility, the drums are just not cutting the mustard because of the aforementioned problems. Fine enough, we still did the Team America theme song with the bummer mix in the middle, crowd loved it. I go behind the sound board and switch into my dress blues and need a beer, been a rough night... They keep the bar open till almost 4 for us, since it is now Veteran's Day and my other bassist and I are in uniform and drinking for free and just totally fucking housed. We go to Denny's for some chow and then to his couch to crash, time on deck, 0445.

1000 comes the wake up call, need to get some water and hit the VFW so we can have a shot at time 1111, we make it in there by 1045 and it is open bar on beer, but not shots. We begin anew and at 1232 we are having the chat if we should do more shots because we have to drive to other posts. We leave around 1330 and hit a few more American Legion's and VFW's and are pretty peeled around 1530 when my bud gets a call from some broad he is going to nail and he drops me off at my new chica's place. She is worried that she has no makeup on and I will think she is ugly so she hides from me for half an hour then sneaks into the washroom to clean up. I pull out the flask and shoot the shit with her step parents she is crashing with till her new apt is ready at the end of the month. We decide to head to the bar for dinner and pick up a case on the way home, drank and hung out till 0100, though there was a break at one point for us to do the horizontal limbo for a while. Crash and wake up at 730 to her kid crying, where is the fucking Nyquil when you need it? She brings me home praying she won't get pulled over and I am sitting here waiting for a ride to Autozone for a tool to cut the lug nuts off my car and new lug nuts to put my donut on and hope to get to the junk yard in time for a new wheel. 125 bones for a used one because of this stupid alloy wheel bullshit that all these hippie freaks like on cars these days. Tire may still be ok, but now I have missed 2 days of work, no side job tonight and I have to spend at least 150 that I don't have to get a new wheel. Fuck this week. Probably won't even be able to afford to get hammered this weekend or do anything fun to relax, goddamn it.

Other things...

My friend V from Uncorked who is one of the most honest people I know and doesn;t give a shit if you like her or hate her for being the unhinged freak she is, gave me an award for my blog, Now I have to list 10 things about me you

may not know and probably won't want to, hahaha! Much love for ya V:)

1) I fail to see the point of marriage, by the time you want to get married to some brand of crazy you can tolerate and that can put up with you, what does getting married change other than your tax status?

2) I like animals more than most people, they won't lie to you or screw you over.

3) I believe that your true friends show up when your in need, like with this car thing, out of the 10 or so friends I texted/called, 3 of them helped me out, the rest ignored the calls and texts, fuck you you filthy maggots.

4) Contrary to popular belief, I do have some moral's. I am now only violating one chick at a time and no others, they are all single, and I tell them ahead of time if I have no desire to date them, that we are both here for the same thing and don't need any drama or bullshit to cock it all up.

5) I like booze, a lot, I love to smoke and drink coffee by the pot, sorry, it is the way I am wired and if you don't like it, you can go pound sand.

6) I have minor OCD, the stupidest things too, the toilet paper always comes from underneath and I snap the top of my beer cans and tap it three times. Make fun of me if you want, your probably a freak too.

7) I am setting aside my goal of teaching philosophy due to the fact I do not want to go to school for 8 years to make 30k a year, mechanical engineering pays, and lets me play with robotics. From there I can get into aero space and rockets -insert evil grin and maniacal laugh here-

8) I still love and have fond memories of the Marines, just not the government, I know it's a dualistic thing, but if you were never in, you wouldn't understand. Fuck the Republicans and the Dem's too, I dig the Dem's more, but they are all dirty politicians when you break them down beyond their political agenda's.

9) I'd like to be a writer someday, I don't spend enough time on this to make it as good as it could be, but I would like to do more for it, a little editing and some knowledge of design would make it look as good as some of the blogs that I read, anyone with some spare time to help let me know.

10) I try to be a very literal person, I mean what I say and say what I mean. If I think your a dick bag, I'll tell you, I won't make plans and bail, I won't pretend to be your friend if I don't like you. If you like being in a happy and politically correct world, don't talk to me. I won;t tell you pretty lies so you can sleep, I'll tell you how the world really is and just what people are up to.

Not sure if this is what you were looking for V, but I tried. :p I need to win the lottery and get a better job.

Blah

2009-11-03T17:29:00.004-05:00

Sick and sleepless so this may be short and boring, but I shall give it the old college try anyway. I have discovered that I am in fact bat shit crazy, always complain about picking the wrong kind of women, and now find myself trudging my way back into the fire... The winner? A chick with two kids who has some questionable friends and used to have a questionable profession... and I thoroughly enjoy hanging out with her, what the fuck is wrong with me? I showed up at work last Wednesday on 10 minutes of sleep and haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammered from hanging out with her, fell out of my car and told my boss what my night entailed and what I was capable of doing that day, he kind of chuckled and then sent me home. Spent the weekend with her and it didn't suck, she had been having a bad go of things and needed some r and r time.

Testing to see if this adding a picture jive works, bad pic and will put something up in the future that actually has something to do with what I am writing about...

The tour was supposed to start this week, kind of bummed about it, was hoping to have a beer with a few of you cats when we were in your city, maybe in the spring or summer. We had booked a last minute show with Green Jelly for friday night, but now they cancelled and the venue still wants the rest of us to play the show, most of which will take place during a friday night hockey game in a town that tak

es sports very seriously, even though the hometown teams are not always doing so well... Still hoping for a decent turnout for the show though. Friday night at Club Diablo in Buffalo starting at 9 pm if anyone is around the area.

Haven't slept for shit in the last few days, instead of sleeping I lay here and cough non stop for about 4 or 5 hours until I say fuck it and just get up. Open mic is tonight so maybe I can get peeled and then fall asleep. My cover band called Zazz Blammymatazz is the house band at a local bar here in ruff Buff called Broadway Joe's and we host an open mic night on Tuesday's. Tonight is the post Halloween party, 50 dollar bar tab for scariest and sexiest costume each and a guitar giveaway. I keep telling my guys to get me a good flyer so I can do some promo for the bar, but three weeks later I am still waiting... May just have to learn how to do it myself so it gets done.

May end up on unemployment soon, the job we are doing is ending this week and we lost our bid on the next one, they expected us to do it for about 3% profit and that just isn't happening, by the time we make up for the stuff my boss estimates low on, the company would be bankrupt, hahaha! He has some stuff for us to do at our shop, and maybe a side project of turning an old house into our new office and shop, but who really knows. We had about 9 people working here a couple months ago, now there are 2, crossing my fingers, being on unemployment makes you feel like the biggest shit heel imaginable and it is so boring.

So, a friend of mine pretty much blew me off last weekend when we were supposed to hang out with some bullshit story about being really sick and stuff, then I hear today about the crazy party that seems to have happened at her house over the weekend, facebook truly is the devil and people are too stupid not to get caught in their lies and deception on it. What ever happened to just saying what you thought? Whatever, fuck it still had a great weekend and seeing my sanity bane tomorrow, hahaha! I hope this has not been too boring, will try to be back to my smart ass bitter self next week, the Marine Corp birthday is next week on the 10th, buy a jarhead a beer, Wed is Veterans day as well, should have some good fun there, open mic that week will rock. My bass player in the cover band and and the bartender are both Army Veterans so the party continues after the bar closes! Taking that Wednesday off of work. Applying to school in the next week or two to change from philosophy to mechanical engineering, hope it goes well. Have a good week all, oh, a parting question... I would like to reply to your comments, should I do it here, on my comment page, or on your blog pages? Please advise and safe and have some fun, I look forward to reading all your stories this week when I get some time, for now off to the bar for open mic, wish I had known about this party ahead of time, don't have time to get a costume together now.

From the bat cave,

Kris

Bu bu bu beeeer

2009-10-26T04:34:00.004-04:00

Wow, what a week, my birthday celebration went from Tuesday through Sunday evening. Tue. was open mic and beer, Wed. was a hockey game, horror show, and beer, Thur. was wings and beer, Fri. was lots of beer, and Sat. was clubbing and beer, with lots of shots most nights. I was able to save the band 300 bucks by doing some side work for the landlord at the practice space, thank god for that, I was going to have a hard time coming up with that this month, this week I have to do battle with the student loan people for a forbearance until school starts in Jan. Hoping I can tell them "...look, I want to do this the legal way and I am going back to school in Jan, however, comma, pause for effect, I don't have money for you either way so whether you give me the forbearance or not, you are not getting shit from me, figured I would tell you up front..." When they tell me there is nothing they can do I will respond with a tactful and polite "Go fornicate yourself with an iron stick." Hope it goes well.

Ugly people in late night commercials for sex stuff, what the hell? I got rid of the regular a couple weeks ago, she kept rubbing it in my face about some new guy she met and I got sick of it so I started hitting on her friend a couple weeks ago. She got real pissed and tried like hell to cock block me behind my back while telling me to my face the exact opposite. When I called her out on it, she became even more pissed and told me I was an asshole to which my immediate response was to tell her to go pound sand. She then told me she hoped I die and a bunch of other pleasant and dramatic things. One more piece of support for why I won't date 20-21 yr olds.

Went grocery shopping last night, think I shall start doing it at night, less people. However, it would be really nice if just once I could find something to eat that it moderately healthy, quick to prepare and comes in a single cock sucking mother loving hippy ass goddamned serving, holy fucking hell, I swear I will nuke the whole town and a few surrounding ones one of these days. Finally found something that looks like it may work, spent an hour in the store, but I did set a new record low at the cash out... drum roll please......... 38.46. Only one "bad" thing in the cart too, some Oreo's, I like cookies... alot... my one weakness...

Tour is not happening now, do not remember if I mentioned it before or not, lots of issues and bullshit, but at least we have some shit coming up and are going to start on the new cd. We are opening for Green Jelly on the 6th at Club Diablo here in Buffalo and we are looking into a show on Thanksgiving eve as well.

Thank you once again to my roommates who came crashing in at 305 in the am and stomped around yelling at each other for 20 min just as I was about to finally fall asleep, then the two above me had an argument till 4am, so now I am up, blogging, and doing laundry at 4 fucking 55 am. I hate everybody... I am sorry I have not been keeping up on your blogs, I will be catching up during the week sometime, especially angry red head and uncorked, those are two of my favourites. This may be one of the first ones I have written with no booze whatsoever in my system, odd. Think I should cut back a little anyway, also will help with the calories, trying to not be such an asshole about the way I eat, at least during the week.

My bass player wants to take me to NYC for a weekend coming up this month, hope I have the cash, he knows a bunch of people and can get us a place to crash and into alot of high end bars and clubs for free. I'll post actual dates when/if it happens, if anyone is in the area and wants to have some beers, let me know!

I have a new pick up line as well, let me know what you think... "You, me, case of beer, can of crisco, and a clown mask, whaddya say?" Hope everyone has a good week, I'll try to put another post up during the week as well, have to figure out how to word a few things because a few people that actually know me are reading this now, lol.

Drive fast, take chances, always pass on the right.

Moriartty

2009-10-19T18:41:00.002-04:00

First off let me apologize for missing a week and being late with this one, was a busy couple weeks with too much drama and too little sleep and cash. Still hacking my way through the dating world, having some fun and meeting some cool people, a couple dicks too, but thats always the way, hahaha! Another reason why I shouldn't talk to girls when I am drunk... I end up writing such fabulous lines as "roses are red, violets are black. Hey baby, nice fuckin rack" Also mentioned something about a clone army of ferrets... One of those I actually though of sober, hahaha! A friend of mine did think they were funny later though, but I wasn't trying to pick her up with that line.

I have seen a few things on the old boob tube to make me both laugh and want to attack myself with a nail gun to stop the pain. Lets start with a funny one... The new SW Air commercial has the best tag line I have seen in quite a while. The end of the commercial rolls up and the screen says, "Grab your bag... it's on", freakin awesome! There was a commercial for a place that will fix your windshield if it has a chip in it before it gets bad enough to have the entire thing replaced. Now I assume they have some smart cat's writing these commercials and to hear grammar being slaughtered like slutty girls in a cheap horror movie makes me think they are doing it on purpose. Some kind of thing where they think the stupid shit's will identify with a guy thats just like they are, just a regular guy, working man, and all that jive. Or someone sure fucked the dog on that bit of editing... While we are on conspiracies though, let this one sink in for a min and let me know if I am crazy or have I figured it all out. The downfall of the economy and the lack of it getting much better could be a scheme to raise the numbers of people enlisting in the military. Probably jumping at shadows, but you never know, lol.

Apparently it is no longer safe to eat fruit. Saw a commercial for some new hippy toothpaste that was talking about protecting your teeth from those horrible and terrible fruits and the nasty acid's that are in them. Give me a fucking break, these are the same assholes that switch their mind every goddamn six months about which parts of a freakin egg you should or shouldn't eat and if it is ok to have milk if you want to live past 20.

I won't say too much on the movie Where the Wild Things Are except I am not a fan of the idea of a kid dressed like a raccoon dancing around with a bunch of failed Muppet's. Doesn't sound entertaining to me and I didn't like it as a kid either. I would like to reign death and fire from the sky down upon my boss more than ever. I am used to not getting quite the right parts to do things and I have realized this is the way it is going to be. He cares more about the bottom line and not making something look good it seems, however, comma, pause for effect... When you make me use the wrong fucking parts then complain about it a couple days later and make me look like an asshole? Thats when people die. At least I am getting the right parts now if nothing else... fucking commies...

Had a couple dates in the last week, the first one went rather shitty, she faked sick by the end of it, but whatever on that. The other two went well, had a lot of fun and at the very least I'll end up with a friend or two, the best, heh heh, well you know:) The tour is off now it seems for the metal band, there were some issues both financial and legal with one of the bands and alot of rumors on top of that so we are not going. Shitty, but we can work on writing new material and playing some more shows, maybe get the new cd done in the Spring. Took the semester off of school for fucking nothing though, can't say I'm surprised by the turn of events though...

Turns out when you drink beer for 10 hours straight, you get pretty hammered. Did that yesterday for the football games, had a good time, but paid for it today at work, felt like I had a wet blanket wrapped around me most the day. Open mic is tomorrow and it is the kickoff to my birthday, if your around Buffalo, drop in to Broadway Joe's for a beer and a tune or two. I am going to try not to get peeled all week long, but I think tonight may be my only night off. Have to play it by ear, hahaha! 28... never thought I would ever make it this far, not in the greatest position imaginable, but have some good plans and thing are in motion as long as funding stays in place and gets better (looks at his boss quizzically), things will turn out ok. Had a little too much fun this past two weekends and have to lie low to make sure I can scrape out my bills for the rest of the month.

Ps. If you can get your paws on a beer called Sapporo, rock it out man, it is some tasty beer.

Take care and have a good week all, I'll hopefully be back on Sunday with some good birthday stories.

Things that make you go.... Where is the fucking booze?!

2009-10-05T19:20:00.002-04:00

Well, here we are, another week gone, stuff happened, came, and went. Averaged about 3 hrs sleep a night all week and even through till today, that puts you in a good mood to start. Work was work, nothing too bad, just fighting to get the parts I need in a size I can use in a timeframe to stay on schedule. Band played Saturday night, that went pretty well, we were worried about the show, but it went off without a hitch and we had a good turn out. The girl I told you about? Yeah that went about as well as it usually does, hahaha! The regular is gone now, found a new guy, told me all about it, then got mad because I hit on some other chick, never did understand the women folk, back to square one there. Have a couple plots and plans cooking on the stove though, as soon as my toad lips, bat wings, and rufies come in the mail I shall be ready to rock.

It was a long week too, practice every night getting ready for the show, a memorial service/funeral at open mic night for a fellow musician that lost the battle with alcoholism, all on top of not sleeping and not having an appetite and giving up on my patches and being back on the nicotine. I almost murdered my boss a couple times, and think I scared him once with the string of profanity and various descriptions of the fate that would befall the next person to fuck with me, short me on parts, or tell me to calm down. Too much stress for one week, the band was learning three new songs and our bassist was singing for the first time ever on top of us being a three piece and having to deal with missing a second guitar, singer, and backup singer.

Good news though, the men are back state side. My old Marine Corp unit just got back from Iraq late last week and will be home on Thursday, much booze will be consumed this weekend in Rochester Friday night! I have a sports tirade, have to go back to my last couple posts and see if I already did it, mind is kind of fried currently. I will probably save the sports shit for a separate post since I am guessing that most the people that read this could give a flying fuck about hockey or football, I am not much for football, but all my friends are so I have to play that game and have a clue what is going on and what everyone is talking about.

Going to be 28 in a couple weeks, not too sure how I feel about that, trying to find something cool to do that weekend. Not too many ideas yet, probably going to ______, to drink lots of ______ and get some _____ to _____ my _____ and take it in the ______ while standing on her head and yodeling while being water boarded with molasses. And a candle so it's all romantical and shit... Although, more than likely I'll just be face down on the basement floor, hahaha!

I have thought of a new post for my facebook, going to try it and see how many people block me or remove me. It will look something like this; Kris - is fun even with his pants on! I'll let you know how it goes.

Chocolate chip cookies were on sale at the store as well:) Trying some new hippie kind of bread, going to take me a sammige to work for lunch for the first time in a couple years. Sick of tuna packets and cereal. Picked up some luncheon meat and this flat sort of pita ish thing that is surely the work of satan, but only 100 calories per thingy, so fuckin A I'll take a run at it.

I was peeled the other day and actually gave serious though to interweb dating... how butt fucking pathetic is that? I just get aggravated at the bullshit, fake people, liars, and whores. Not saying I am perfect, but what the shittin shit man, would one date with someone reasonably normal or at least fucked up in a cool and interesting way be out of line to ask for? Suppose it's better than fighting with some pain in the ass about stupid shit non stop though, shit like "You drink too much", "You have band practice again?", "Did you kill another hooker?", and "The dog doesn't like to be touched there." I have a few more bucks in my pocket and a little less stress in my life. My bass player keeps telling me to look for the good in things instead of the bad, think I'll give it a shot, and speaking of shots...

Well, hockey is starting in a bit, have a couple of things to do before the Canucks play. Have a good week all, leave me some love and I'll return the favour.

Moriartty

The band post...

2009-09-27T18:27:00.002-04:00

So the metal band, DisplaceD is going on tour this fall from the beginning of Nov till a week before Christmas. At the bottom is the schedule so far, the rest will be posted as it becomes available to me. The site for the band is www.myspace.com/displaced there is a dot com site, but it is still being built. We are touring with Flaw, who was recently signed to Roadrunner and is finishing a new album for the tour. Our record label is Chamberlain records and we will be doing our new cd next year sometime, but we will have a few new songs for our show next weekend and more for the tour. If anyone wants to come to a show, let me know, email me. We usually get a guest list at our shows and I can get a couple people on it if we get one. It's always good to know someone at a show:) and to have someone to do shots with! My pic is not on the band site yet due to weather problems with getting a photo shoot scheduled but I am on the top friends list on the band myspace and you can get a look at my ugly mug there, hahaha, Moriartty is my name there.

Hope to see some of you on the road!

Moriartty

October, 3 2009 07:00 PM - Club Diablo

517 Washington Ave., Buffalo, New York 14201 - 8

November, 6 2009 08:00 PM - FLAW tour @ Club Polished

152 N. Main St., Marion, Ohio 43302 - 15

152 N. Main St., Marion, Ohio 43302 - $15 ADV B.O.L.O Tour Featuring: FLAW and Displaced.

November, 12 2009 08:00 PM - FLAW Tour @ Rox Bar

506 W Saint Germain Mall, St. Cloud, Minnesota 56301 - 15

506 W Saint Germain Mall, St. Cloud, Minnesota 56301 - $10 ADV B.O.L.O Tour Featuring: FLAW and Displaced.

November, 13 2009 08:00 PM - FLAW tour @ The Rock

2029 Woodlynn Avenue, Maplewood, Minnesota 55109 - 10

B.O.L.O Tour @ The Rock 2029 Woodlynn Avenue, Maplewood, Minnesota 55109 - $10 ADV B.O.L.O Tour Featuring: FLAW and Displaced.

November, 14 2009 08:00 PM - FLAW tour @ Clancy’s Pub

5135 S. Emerson Avenue, Indianapolis, Indiana 46237 - 15

5135 S. Emerson Avenue, Indianapolis, Indiana 46237 - $15 ADV B.O.L.O Tour Featuring: FLAW and Displaced

November, 15 2009 08:00 PM - FLAW tour @ Riehle Brothers

2270 Concord Rd, Lafayette, Indiana 47905 - 10

2270 Concord Rd, Lafayette, Indiana 47905 - $10 ADV B.O.L.O Tour Featuring: FLAW and Displaced

November, 16 2009 08:00 PM - FLAW tour @ legends

4104 N. Clinton St., FT. Wayne, Indiana 46805 - 13

4104 N. Clinton St., Ft. Wayne, Indiana 46805 - $13 ADV B.O.L.O Tour Featuring: FLAW and Displaced

November, 17 2009 08:00 PM - FLAW tour @ Riverside Tavern

100 N Center St 24, Mishawaka, Indiana 46544 - 13

100 N Center St 24, mishawaka, Indiana 46544 - $13 ADV B.O.L.O Tour Featuring: FLAW and Displaced

November, 19 2009 08:00 PM - FLAW tour @ Americas Pub

116 N. Mead ST., Wichta, Kansas 67202 - 15

116 N Mead St, Wichita, Kansas 67202 - $15 ADV B.O.L.O Tour Featuring: FLAW and Displaced

November, 20 2009 08:00 PM - FLAW tour @ Lonestar Bar and Grill

2370 E FM 93, Temple, Texas 76502 - 15

2370 E FM 93, Temple, Texas 76502 - $15 ADV B.O.L.O Tour Featuring: FLAW and Displaced

November, 21 2009 08:00 PM - FLAW tour @ Warehouse Music Venue

1305 E Houston St,, San Antonio, Texas 78205 - 15

1305 E Houston St, San Antonio, Texas 78205 - $15 ADV B.O.L.O Tour Featuring: FLAW and Displaced

November, 25 2009 08:00 PM - FLAW tour @ The Clubhouse

1320 E Broadway Rd 103, Tempe, Arizona 85282 - 15

1320 E Broadway Rd 103, Tempe, Arizona 85282 - $15 ADV B.O.L.O Tour Featuring: FLAW and Displaced

November, 27 2009 08:00 PM - FLAW tour @ Whiskey a-go-go
8901 W Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles, California 90069 - 15 8901 W Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90069 - $15 ADV B.O.L.O Tour Featuring: FLAW and Displaced

Pondering's, musings, and stuff...

2009-09-27T14:08:00.048-04:00

So I met a new chick, pretty hip kid, was working on a pet name for her, which I am really bad at, but since she likes just the top of the muffin I thought of muffin top. Then I realized that calling her that would probably get me stabbed in the piss hole so back to the drawing board. I will be putting up another post with what we have so far for the tour schedule. If anyone is interested in coming to a show when we are near your town, let me know, we usually get a small guest list so I can get a couple people in for free if we have said guest list, more on that in the band post coming this week.

I am ready to crucify my boss after Friday at work and the week as a whole. After work friday I was ready to punch someone in the neck with a broken beer bottle if I was told to calm down one more time, worked 11 hrs and everything I touched turned to shit and was a project and a half. Ripped off my patch, bought a case of beer, a steak sub, and two packs of fun sticks and sat in the garage all night playing fetch with my cat and waging a jihad on sobriety. Just once I would like to get the parts I order in the right size, quantity, and description. It would be nice to not be expected to do three days worth of shit in one day as well, but at least I have a couple hours of overtime in my check this Thursday coming up. Need some stuff for my drums, show on Saturday the third in Buffalo, NY. New songs will be unveiled as well! Should be a good time, place looks like it will be packed to the gills. However, main power is on and will be completed by the end of Monday, then I get to fix the holes I had to dig in the concrete to fix pipes for my wire.

A fellow local musician passed this week, wasn't a really close friend or anything, but it always sucks to lose a good drummer, Dennis "Jim" Parry finally lost his battle with the bottle and was found in a cemetery. No funeral or memorial is planned currently.

If this whole thing goes well with the new lady of interest this blog may get boring, hahaha! Won't have any more dating horror stories of psychotic freaks. Wouldn't mind if it did go well though, been a while since I met someone with many similar interests who was nice, had a good sense of humour, and is cuter than a kitten in a bow tie. Supposed to see her for the show next weekend, have to learn how to cook for a diabetic.

Also looking for a tutor for this goddamned witchcraft box that is my Mac, still having issues with stuff like I tunes and preferences, probably deleted something important, lol. This external hard drive causes an issue as well once in a while. Taking applications if anyone knows their way around these things, it is an ibook g4 running osx I believe. It is possessed by the devil himself and doesn't like me very much. I would like to take a large axe and give it a reprogramming it will never forget some days.

Today is a day for relaxing, beer, good (not healthy) food, and games on the boob tube. Hope everyone has a relaxing day and I'll be back with the band stuff later in the week and to let you know how things go with this new found person of interest.

Moriartty

Labour Day weekend story... I know it's late...

2009-09-19T14:29:00.002-04:00

So, the weekend started on Thursday, my roommates family came out, folks, cousin and a buddy, 2 more supposedly on the way. I have a few beers with them before band practice, band blog coming soon, some cool info to share about it, then get to jammin. Party it up Thursday night with them for a bit then head downtown with my bass player to club Pure. It was a decent time, almost piss pounded some douchebag that thought I was "trying to mack on his game" or some stupid shit like that. I was standing too close to some slam pig he had targeted it seems. I told him he wasn't good enough to pull them and then he got in my face and started trying to talk shit. I told him to back off and slid up my sleeve to let him see my Marine Corp tattoo and then he backed off and went back to his prey, amazing the lack of balls these scum fucks have that hang out in these clubs. I usually don't pull that card, don't like to brag or be one of "those guys", but a couple weeks ago some kid was giving me shit and I was just smiling and plotting cutting his throat open with a beer bottle and my bass player asked me some question about the service. The other kid was my best friend after he found out I was in. So I guess don;t start shit with people you don't know, I don't start shit with people, but they must just not like me when they see me and want to get big balls, lol.

Anyway, so we had a decent time Thur night. Went to work friday on about 2 hours of sleep and came home and started drinking with my roommates and family we start at 4pm. I had a lady friend stop by for a beer and hopefully some good dickin, and this other girl calls and asks whats going on, she's a friend so I tell her I'm hoping to do the horizontal limbo in the near future. She tells me if plan A fails she'll come over and tuck me in, hip chick, I should feel bad about it cause she isn't single. So plan A fails and the regular (used to be the regular, not anymore since she has a bf now kinda sorta) comes over, bails early on a date with her bf it seems and brings me leftovers, life is good, chicken wings rock. We continue our Jihad against sobriety and then head in "to get something from the house" which she has to look for naked at the foot of my bed head first, covered in crisco and duck feathers. Pleasant end to the festivities for the evening, crash around 4 again...

Saturday we all get up around 10 and commence with the feeding, head to the beer store and continue water boarding our livers. Around 3am two of these cats are spilling more than they are drinking which is funny, but expensive. They make it about 30 meters to the house, make the drink, come back down the four stairs to get outside and all the way back to the fire with no problem except for walking serpentine. Then somehow, within about 10 seconds they drop it, spill it, fall over or one talks shit to the other and the drink is tossed at the former, then both laugh. People are fucking weird but good entertainment, and not to worry, my shining moment of tard is coming up . So we finally decide to cash it in for the night around 4 or so, drinking that much makes you drowsy:)

Sunday I am out of coffee and breakfast jive so I head to the gas station for an energy drink and hit dunkin donuts on the way back, good sammiges, coffee tastes like a dead hookers boot after it sat in a dumpster for a week. First beer top hits the fire pit at 1223 hours. Drinking commences with a vengeance. Around 7pm it is decided to be a good idea (this is the pinnacle of my stupidity:) ) to get a picture of someone jumping through the fire that has been burning since thursday and currently has some logs and about 5 pallets on top of it. We are sitting about 20 feet away because it's fucking hot, what could possibly go wrong? I was burned before I even touched the fire, went in like super mario jumping, came out like superman flying somehow, not sure what happened, but my legs were tingly because I had shorts on, I am about two steps away from licking the freakin windows sometimes... So plan A from Friday is over with her friend and the old regular is hanging out too, all are having a good time. Plan A wants a ride on the 4 wheeler, so one of my roomies takes her for a spin and they are gone for a while, he sends me a text and asks me what the deal is and I tell him to go for it, kid needs to get laid and I'd rather shag the old regular anyway. When they come back she goes to take a leak and I go to high five roomie, he shrinks away and asks if I'm going to throw him in the fire... weird... I told him to go for it and have fun. They disappear like that 3 times then are standing all cuddly next to the fire, a real redneck hallmark fucking moment. Then the texting starts, she is texting me saying to rescue her from him and she wants to bump uglies with me later, while she is standing arm in arm with this cat and he is kissing her neck and she seems to not be hating it. I told her to solve her own problem and tell him no then, said she did but I doubt it, they were both enjoying it. I go to change the tunes in the garage and she follows and jumps on me and starts kissing me and I push her off and tell her no, to go back to other dude. She says she doesn't want him, told her too late now, I have to live with these people and you can't make out with my roommate for an hour then just walk away and into my bed, not cool. He see's her kiss me and gets mad, hops on his wheeler and takes off down the highway at 3am peeled, jackass. Finally comes back and I told him to chill, I wasn't going to fuck her and she is trying to play us. She still won't leave me alone and he goes to bed, then she sits by the fire and looks all depressed, stupid twat. I tell her to go solve her fucking problem and finished my beer and went to bed, old reg was sleeping but woke up when I closed the door and SQUIRREL!!!!

Sorry got distracted, so anyway, we got to some serious drunken fakkin and the door opens and doesn't close for a min or so, thought it was going to get ugly for a min, but she then went upstairs to the guy she had blown off to fuck him and he was passed out or kicked her out. She leaves and drags her friend out of the backseat of a car where she was making out with some dude. This plan a chick then sends me a text that says "you suck"... what in the fuck? Am I an asshole for not shagging that chick? If so then I'll be an asshole, not looking to open that can of worms, that chick has bad news written all over her, probably in many different donor's sperm.

Monday was recovery day first time we had anything to drink other than coffee, beer, and liquor all weekend. Overall a fun weekend, smoked 7 or 8 packs of smokes from Fri night to Sunday night, so am working on quitting, I still can't stand the taste or smell, most days go pretty good unless there is a lot of booze involved, like on Tuesday night just past, but thats a story for the next one, this is already too long. Cheers all, have a fun weekend and be safe enough to not die or go to jail.

Moriartty

Finally back in action!

2009-09-16T21:36:00.002-04:00

Greetings all, I am back, with new and better internet and a new external hard drive for the Mac, 1 Tb!! More than I can ever hope to fill. I have some stories over the past couple weeks, I will probably break it up into a couple blogs so it is not one long ass one. I will start that tomorrow, been a long day and I am on 2 hours sleep from last night, keep getting distracted and finding myself staring at the wall or the floor for minutes and forgetting simple things. I was totally retarded at work, forgetting simple things and having to have people explain things multiple times and then forgetting I had talked to them as soon as they walked away, fucking blows getting old.
Check me into the home and give me a fresh straw for each meal... The second degree burns on my legs are healing nicely, I'm broke, trying to quit smoking, and my boss is not laying me off when I go on tour, now have to figure out how I am going to come up with the 16oo I will need to pay my bills while I am gone. A few other things too, I'll try to post either tomorrow or friday with some good shit for you guys, right now however, this little cracker needs a piece of cake and some sleep, I'm bobbing for cock sitting here at the computer, almost whacked my forehead off the mouse pad. The Mac is working cool, finally figured out how to format my commie-pod so I can listen to my podcasts at work and drown out the stupid.
Until tomorrow,
Moriartty
Plan B

effing hippies....

2009-09-01T21:11:00.003-04:00

Sorry I haven't read many blogs lately, I will when I get a steady interweb connection... promise.

Short one since I am in a fucking Denny's..... try to do a short one or two from my phone, think I have it figured out. Good news, I have a MAC! Not sure how to work it really, but it looks so shinnnnnnny!!! Bad news, my roommate told Verizon what he thought about being on hold for 30 min and being bounced from dept. to dept. for an hour after that and informed them what they could do with their service and how bloody he hoped they would get as they fornicated themselves with said service while playing in traffic and having people throw bricks and teeth at them. Big surprise, they shut off our internet, it sucked fetid donkey balls, but it worked goddammit. So now I am at Denny's and they are pissed cause I have been here for an hour slopping coffee and stealing wi-fi, well fuck them they shouldn't have it for free then. Hoping for internet sometime next week, going to head to uni during the week to do some computer jive there, as well as check out some college ass, uh, I mean work diligently on solving global warming and stopping babies from crying... and finding the spell checker on this witchcraft box...fucking hippies.
So I guess I have to start combing my hair into my eyes and wearing plaid shirts that are 2 sizes too small for me like all the people in the Mac commercials now. This thing is pretty cool so far though, just have to figure out how to get my itunes library onto this and get a bigger hard drive or an external.
Also found a new way to crush the hopes and dreams of people far and wide in my quest for world domination. Hot or not, some website where you look at dames dressed like whores and rate them, the damage and the suicides that will come from this mess..... I can just see it now, some freakin sow pastes her mashed together veined up milk mittens all over this site and gets shitty ratings cause they can see track marks and the couch in the front yard by the trailer, then puts an icepick through her temple and her inbred cross-eyed freak demon spawn sues someone. I also type run on sentences, I know this and it is a work in progress, but coffee is kicking in and I am getting the jitters so I will just press on.
Going to the great white north this weekend (maybe) for some good eats and good boozin, stronger beer, more laid back people, and just a good time. If not, I plan on being face down in a gutter down here in ruff buff (Buffalo) with my bass player, always a good time and some joint called the Sky Bar has two for one beers, it's outside and has a decent view. And you con lob pennies at over the fence at the bum's walking by. Kidding I wouldn't do that...... sober.....

A lazy day off for catching up

2009-08-30T09:46:00.002-04:00

Well, another week gone and done, it was a busy week and now I finally get a day off. I have been talking to a couple girls that I was looking to hang out with and all that jazz and I have one question... Is it possible that a chick who is fucking SINGLE could show some interest? Am I a magnet for freaks? I mean come on, my "regular" went back to her ex because I wouldn't date her I heard, fine and dandy, not a big deal, but I thought she could do better than him. I head out and re join the hunt, warpaint on and a fresh spear, feelin kinda froggy, new burst of confidence, good wingman by my side, the herd is grazing and I am mingling amonst them, no one the wiser. Don't want to get into a relationship with the band going on the road for 2 months starting in november, but it would be nice to have someone to hang out with, see a movie with, have dinner with, I like to cook but usually refuse to do it for just myself. Anywhoo... I end up meeting a chick or two that were kinda diggin it, then find out one is engaged and the other has been with her dude for 7, comma, pause for effect, SEVEN years?!?! She hates him and he hates her and she wants to have a naked whip cream fight or some shit like that before I stuff it in her slush pump. I would like to hang out with a single chick who might actually want to hang out, not just get drunk and shag like a bantha in heat. Not that I don't want to get laid like anything else with a pulse, but it just annoys me that the last three chicks I have met have boyfriends and shit. Maybe I should just call myself plan B, hahahaha! Suppose it's less stress this way, just turn my phone on around 2 am and wait for one of them to have a fight and need some consolation, but that seems like a dirtbag move, don't think I want to be that cat.

Things with the band are going well, we are working on posters for the tour and promoting our show for 3 October, poking around to see if we can add another guitar player to fill things out before we hit the bricks. Coverband played friday night and had an absolute blast, we had a few new songs to throw in and I didn't get wasted till after we played! Afterward it was game fucking on though, was up till 630 in the a.m. sluggin loudmouth soup. Today I am going to catch up on nap's business for the bands, and a few other things. Making a big lasagna or however it's spelled, this way I don't have to cook all week long again. Grape and Wine festival in St. Catharines next weekend, think I am going to go for Friday night and or Saturday. Big cookout/party the day after and hopefully I get Monday off from work, though it probably won't be paid. (insert cheap boss joke/comment here) Guess I'll have to sell some extra crack that week, lol. Also found an old roommate on facebook a few days ago, been forever since I have talked to her, pretty cool chick, and the cat she was dating at the time was hip too. Would like to have a beer with her and swap dating horror stories.

Although this Grape and Wine festival should be a good time, I could use a couple days away and the chick I am going with is pretty cool to hang out with. I used to date her cokeslut of a sister, whom I lovingly refer to as Cokey the Wunderlush. Not a word of truth or moment of sobriety from this ragdoll, but i was in a shitty spot and it worked for a short while till I sobered up and smartened up (or so I thought, hahaha) and continued to hack my way through the briar patch of psycho bitches. For those of you who don't know me I am about 5'7" pale as casper and weigh in at about 165 lbs. This info comes in handy in about three sentences. I end up talking to Cokey's sister by accident because she lost her phone and was using her sisters. Her sister got pissed that Cokey was using her phone, but we ended up chatting and swapping stories about her sisters lies and drug binges. Find out she was married (common law) and a college dropout, not having the 4 degrees she talked about every ten minutes. I also find out that according to Cokey, I am a 6'8" hulking black weightlifter and former Marine that stalked her and kidnapped her and raped her in a hotel. I am a Marine, but not too much else of any of the others. Funny that I was supposedly stalking her even though I had blocked her on everything I could, moved and changed my phone number to get away from her and she found me a year or so later and wanted to hang out. Her sister had the texts of her bugging me so she knew I wasn't some weird stalker. We ended up going out one night and drank enough booze to sail a ship on and I ripped my favourite jeans hopping over a fence at 4am because it seemed like a really good idea. Didn't spill my beer though! And, we got some fresh flowers from the park for her mom that was sick. So next weekend should be fun, another busy week coming up, I'll hope something cool or funny happens, I'll keep you posted. Enjoy the weather if it's nice where you are and I'll post the touring schedule when I get the official one. If I'm going to be in your town, maybe we can grab a beer at the show! We are touring with Flaw starting in November.
Keep on rocking,
Kris

Get rich quick

2009-08-24T16:45:00.002-04:00

My latest idea was shot down by my friend who is a P.A. I get a kick out of all these weight loss commercials, where the old, fat, bald, sad person in the bad light is fat and miserable. The after picture when the person is air brushed, ripped after 4 weeks, has more hair with less grey, looks happy and almost looks like there is a line around the neck leading one to think that it could possibly be another body. I mean come on, do you really think that taking a pill and still sitting on your fat ass eating a bucket of fucking lard with a spoon will make you skinny? Well, I guess alot of people do, and they should all be rounded up, sterilized and shipped off somewhere where they can die cold and alone and not infect people with this stupidity.

Anyway, my new million dollar idea was along these same lines, figure if you can't beat 'em, you might as well make money off these window licking fuck tards. I know that the marketing division, fueled by satan, red bull, and a fistful of drugs can sell my idea and make it look great. It will work to, side effects may be mild and may include severe sickness, death, bowel problems, people to laugh at you, and a myriad of other things, but the announcer can put a happy spin on it and talk very quiet and fast with happy music and sexy people on the screen bumping uglies or something.

I have two words for you.....

Tape

Worm

Wrap your brain housing group around that one and tell me it's not the best idea you have ever heard. You eat a piece of chocolate cake (studies show lard asses like chocolate cake) and this little fledgling personal sexyifier ( the marketing division will explain that term, or make it sound edgy and or smart) works it's way to your nether region and all you have to do is wait for the Sweedish models to start beating your door down. Or whatever the chick version of this fantasy is, I am guessing a flying firefighter who is a volunteer kid taker care of person and has his dick tucked into his sock, but still has perfect hair and has his sweat glands removed.

You just wait and eat and get skinny, After target weight is reached, a few pills and a pair of hot dog tongs will fix you right up and no one will be the wiser. How much would you expect to pay for this service, no not service, honour, how much would you pay for the honour of this breakthrough technology? I figure I could sell it for a good 100 beans. People without insurance might not dig it, but they won't think that far ahead in the future. It'll just have to be packaged in a very serious looking box and have a "doctor" approve of it. I am sure I could pay some college professor with a phd to do it, they can't have souls with all the goddamned books they make us buy for classes.

Apparently though, this P.A. kid tells me that you could die and apparently people bitch about minute details such as this and I guess major surgery could be involved, and yes I am rolling my eyes and imagining this being said in a very sarcastic and condesending tone. Isn't it worth it though? Whats a little risk when the payout is so great? Get the skinny, emo look you always wanted, guys, look like a methed out coke freak, cheeks sunken in and that freak nasty dent under your sternum. Girls, lose those tits and that ass, look just like a 12 yr old boy and be able to stick a fist between each rib. Thats what the marketing people tell us is hot and desireable.

That is my million dollar idea, if it fails then I am just going to have to go to work in the morning...

chili

2009-08-23T17:19:00.004-04:00

Ok, Not much happened this weekend unfortunately, went out on friday night to be the distraction, ended up hanging out with the other one and may get a date out of it, weird the way things work out. Last nights party was cool, thanks Jenn:) I drank alot and did about 30 jello shots I think, did most of them with this old Squid (Navy cat) and he was a fucking riot. Good times and good stories, and a wicked hangover this morning, but totaly worth it. Today I am making chili and not to be a dick, but I can make the fuck out of a batch of chili and if I play my cards right, this will be the last time I cook for the week. Unless this chick ends up coming over for dinner during the week, have to find a classy excuse to not have wine with dinner because I hate it more than Chris Reeves hates stairs. She knows I drink so that is out, and I look like a jerk if I get the wrong kind or carve my tongue out of my own face to get away from the terrible after taste wine leaves, and my balls are too big to cut it with sprite. I am welcoming ideas and thoughts from all on this. Think I am going Italian for that night, but can't say anything else on the chance she finds the link and reads this. I would like however, to share my chili recipe with you hip cats. Maybe someone will like it and maybe someone will have an idea to make it even better. I discovered last time not to buy cheap shit, it really does make a difference and fucked the last one up by trying to save 50 cents...

Recipe for chili:
3-4 mid size cans of tomato sauce and the small can of paste. Two cans of preferred beans, 1 pepper, green red or orange, which ever is cheapest:) 1 jalapeno (and yes I pronounce it the way it is spelled so there) garlic, chili, paprika, cumin, hot shot, crushed red pepper for spices/powders. 1 small package of stir fry steak and 2 pounds of sausage. giggity giggity goo

I don't have exact measurements for the spices, but i used a fuck ton of chili powder, probably a good 4 spoons of cumin, a little garlic powder, 1/3 of a thing of paprika, a pinch of sugar, smaller pinch of salt (which was a bad idea...) and I was very liberal with the hot shot pepper mix and crushed pepper. I also threw in about half a bottle of chipotle tobasco sauce, but like the original tobasco better. So far it looks pretty good, waiting for it to thicken, should have put more tomato paste in it I guess. For you hippies, you can use turkey sausage or vegetarian sausage and it doesn't affect the taste much if at all. It filled the crock pot all the way up and should be dinner all week long. Might have to put some more hot sauce in it, it tastes salty today, not sure why, I am blaming the store brand sausage I used instead of the Jimmy Dean hot stuff I usually use. But if your bored, give it a whirl and let me know how it turns out for you.

You cook the meat down whilst all the other jazz warms ujp in the pot. mix all together and let it slightly boil for about 4 beers. Then turn it down and take the lid off and let it rock out until you get hungry, it will thicken up more and taste a little better the next day, but fuck it I can;t wait that long:)

Band photo's got cancelled due to the weather today, hope to get those done soon.

Thursday night...

2009-08-21T21:49:00.004-04:00

Thursday, I was supposed to go out with my friend for a beer, emphasis on the singular... He tried to bitch out and I talked him into a beer at TGI Friday's. Happy hour rocks, 2 beans for a Corona, can't beat it unless you drink at home. By the time We got there, he was in the middle of a shit storm with an ex of his, tried to distrat him but they were writing novels to each other on the phone. I pump a couple beers in him and he wants to go downtown in good ol' Buffalo for a cup of loudmouth soup and blow off some steam. I'm always down for a good time so we head down there and the rain stops as we get there, fuckin sweet. We're on Chippewa, the clubby district, not really my kind of place most the time, but I can clean up pretty well when I need/want to. We are hanging out in the bar and chatting, methodically setting about getting peeled. I know I have to work at 0700, not too worried. We head to this joint called the Bayou or some bulljive like that and it's not too bad, decent prices on drinks, lots of people, everyone peeld and having a good time. Lots of people making eye contact and lots of birds dancing trying to be teases, we're just here for the beer, no drama. We end up talking to a couple girls here and there, nothing much, just chatting and hanging out. Some chick wants me to look for her hair thingy and I told her I would help look, but not doing her dirty work, I'm not a total sucker... I hope, hahaha! She is ok with that but gets pissy when I tell her I'll be in when I'm done with my smoke, she finished first and didn't want to wait, whatever. I head back in and head to the washroom, get mixed up because apparently after 3 shots of whiskey and about 10 beers, you have a tendancy to get a little but of a buzz rocking. I sit back down... well let me explain that part, there is a shelf along one wall where all the birds get up and dance in their short skirts for the guys to buy them drinks all night, guys are dumb, haha. We were sitting on this ledge and once we sat down there, it took about 5 min for the whole bench to fill up with girls dancing behind us. Anyhoo, I sit down and some dame grabs my head from behind and grinds it into her jive slice for about 5 seconds then lets me go and goes on about her business. We laughed and thought, "What the fuck?!" I turned to look at this girl and it was some chubby freak with a plastic shirt that showed her fat wrinkled thighs and she had the ovaries to give me a dirty look! I thought about tripping her when she came down from the dance shelf there, but that would be mean.
Tonight my services are required as wingman and I'm heading out in a bit, pre gaming now so I spend less at the bar. This is also my chance to tell all you women out there, if you want a cat to buy you a drink, don't ask. The last bird that asked me to buy her a drink didn;t like the response she recieved. I told her no and when she asked why I told her because she asked, then topped it off with telling her I would rather buy a drink for her friend because she was cuter. For some reason she got mad at me. Some guys are dumb like that, they will buy the girl drinks all night who they don't know and expect that if they buy her drinks that will get them somewhere, nope! I would rather nail my dick to a burning building than drop 30 bones on booze for a total stranger when you can see her fat friend glaring at you in the corner, having decided already she will blow your shit up if you happen to get to the point where you exchange numbers. Only makes you poor, and she is just using you for drinks. If I am hanging out with a chick I may buy her a drink if we're chatting and whatnot, not to get her peeled, cause I hate doing shots alone:) So for tonight, my friend has a girl that wants to grab a beer and has a friend from out of town that needs someone to hang out with. Sounds like a good time, and they are not dressed for the clubs, so I don't have to feel obligated to pay cover for this girl. Makes me sound cheap, but I like to think of it as smarter budgeting. I am the first one to buy a round for my friends when I have cash to spare, sometimes I don't though, hahaha. I'll try to post more over the weekend, tonight should prodice a good story or two and I have a chick issue to lay down as well. Have a good weekend all, don't do anything I wouldn't do! Drive fast, take chances, always pass on the right, condoms are cheaper than diapers and herpes cream. In all seriousness, be safe and have some fun. We'll chat soon:)

The last 24 hours... it's a long one, sorry

2009-08-18T20:36:00.006-04:00

Murphy's Law is in full effect. Def going to sip a beer tonight, actually I'll go get one now, pop a tune in and I'll be back in a few.

Ah, Miller low life, the piss water of beer, but cheap and on the last one then the Molson's will be cold! So, lets set the mood for this evening, it's 2042, I just had dinner, worked all day in an oven of a room in 100 degree heat and a fuck ton of humidity, had a massive headache all day, couldn't go to open mic tonight, and forgot to bring my Oreo's to work. I haven't even had time to shower yet and now that everyone else is back at the piece they are all showering and I have to wait and stew in my room with a case of the batwings going on. For the faint of heart skip to the next paragraph, for I am to explain batwings for those who don't habla. Having the batwings is when your balls stick to your legs due to heat and sweat, so you have to bow your legs out and bend at the knees or lift one leg straight out to the side to feel them peel off of your leg, doesn't matter which one or both you shave, (legs/sack) or if you use powder, if you wear boxers, it will happen. I wonder if there is a chick version of this....

Ok, this started on Sunday I guess, a friend of mine needs a new gas tank installed on her car, my roommates who are alot more car savvy than I agree to do said task for a bottle of vodka to get us through the job, should only be a two hour deal, a nice sunday afternoon we think. About 4 hours into it, we find some other parts that need replacing, can't get them because the commie fucks at the parts store closed early. They go Monday cause I'm the only one who had to work and get the parts and keep messing with it. We find out around 8pm that a couple nuts are stripped and once again the store is closed, goddamned hippies. Friend takes me to the market for groceries in my car since she is taking it home so she can get to work Tuesday and I can get a ride in to work from another bud of mine.
At the store I am looking for cheap shit for lunches, I hate spending money on food, especially for work. I have been eating tuna packets for about 2 years or so now because they are a buck a piece and no preperation needed, toss in a piece or two if fruit, some hippie crackers or something and my two water bottles, and Kris is a happy little fucker at work as long as he gets coffee and smokes. I see these frozen pbj sandwhiches (referred to after as sammiges:) ) for 5 bones, 10 in a box. Jackpot, all the fun of a sammige without having to make it. The best part? No crust!! I just saved a buck a week, not a big deal, but another point scored against the man. I usually have a bagel with cheese for breakfast, quick and cheap and I can eat it on the way and wash it down with a pot of coffee. I see some more frozen shit, bagels shaped like breadsticks with the shit already in them! What could possibly go wrong?, I ask myself. Every goddamned, communist, butt loving one of them has fucking cream cheese in it. I hate cream cheese, I would rather nail my dick to a burning building than eat cream cheese, I was extremely disheartened by finding out they all had cream cheese. Si I buy regular bagels and still have american cheese so I can toast my bagel then put the slice of cheese on each half and let it melt down and I'm a happy little fucker.
I get home, cook some chicken tits on the grill, eat and go to bed, I even found some kind of hippie coffee from Foldgers in a silver bag that has caramel in it, and it's 2 beans cheaper than the Seatle's (or however the hell you spell it,) Best coffee, which I dig, but I'm cool with saving two bucks on coffee. I get up, go to work today, the nuts that were stripped on the gas tank will be at the house by the time I get home from work and I can help my roommate finish up, cause he's the cat that knows whats going on, I'm helping and learning at this point. I spend all day in the oven working with a headache and finally get home, take a handful of asprin and pay down since I beat my roommates home. They get home and we head out to the garage, 20 min and we're done. The posts that the nuts screw onto are stripped as well... after a 20 min session of cursing the car gods and this god forsaken car, we go buy a tap and dye set and re-thread the bolts. Everything sails back together after that, after the whore that the bolts gave us, they were in a real tight spot. We gas the pig up and start it, the fucking fuel pump burst a line, can;t patch it since it's a pressureized line. We knew you should replace the pump if your doing the tank, but chick didn't have the loot and told us not to. Now she has to and I am going to have to front her most of the money for the pump. Oh, and a side note, watching the science channel, just heard that some star in Saggitarius will blow soon, and if it blows up as a gamma ray burst, we're fucked. So tomorrow we're going to get the part, maybe we can finish this shit mess then.
On top of this, I miss a Tuesday night at the bar for open mic, about the only chance the cover band gets to practice and jam with the metal band writing a new album, getting ready for a show, and hoping to go on tour this fall. The coverband thinks I'm ditching out until I tell them to drag their happy asses over and help us and then they stop responding, fucking pigs. I am without my car until probably thursday now, since my roommates go to bed around 2100 since they get up at 0345 fir work in th morning and work 10-12 hour days. I get home at 1600 so that leaves up only a couple hours to work on the car each day, I hate this fucking car, if you own a 92 Plymouth Acclaim, go fucking kill yourself and burn the car because you are not a nice person and your mechanic probably hates you and you probably are the type of person who doesn't give out christmas cards.
On a lighter note, this blogging thig is fun and I am meeting other bloggers who are all very nice, and some even think that I don't suck at this. If you are one of these cats, show it to anyone who like a good laugh, I try to get a chuckle out of people with my rants and would like to be good at this writing jive, so feedback is always welcome.
I would do a rant on pecker pills, but it's been so overdone it's just annoying and who wouldn't party their ass off if they had a hard on for hours on end, we all get it it's not funny anymore. I'm working on enough material for my rant on marketing people, oooh how I hate those fucking maggots, worse than the religious fanatics who use fear and guilt to scare you into giving them money and not looking at midgets shagging kittens on horseback while wearing scuba suits and feathered hats. Or so I've heard, not like I would ever even think of googling that.... without a few more beers, uh, i mean ever.

Happy trails and rock on, I'll post again soon, I also write the blog for my band Displaced, it's more business oriented and all that jazz, but if you get bored check it out, www.myspace.com/DisplaceD

Yours from the bat cave,
Kris

blogging stuff

2009-08-16T12:15:00.003-04:00

So I also made a thing on a site called 20sb.net for 20 something bloggers. I am not sure if I am supposed to blog on that or here or both so if you don't see much recent here, try heading over there to see a post, I will try to post here though, since there is a link to this page driectly from that one and here I have my content warning so I don't have to listen to people bitch about the way I talk sometimes:)

Next DisplaceD show!

2009-08-14T18:30:00.002-04:00

Greetings all, October 3rd my band Displaced is playing at Club Diablo in Buffalo, NY. It would be really cool if you are able to come out and see and support us and do a shot or two with is too! We are playing the early show so that means we can go out after the show. The link for the band is www.myspace.com/displaced Hope to see you there! I'll post reminders as it gets closer, but if anyone feels like finding me on facebook, let me know, the show details are there!

Welfare fraud

2009-08-12T22:12:00.002-04:00

So on the news I heard a story about a new program for welfare recipients. It will give them an additional 200 beans to buy school supplies per kid. Thats alot of scratch, I never got that much spent on me as a kid, though things were probably a little cheaper 10-20 years ago. The kicker? they don't even have to prove the kid is in school, the news alluded to a parent of a 3 yr old being eligible for the money, three year olds aren't even in school... There is also no way to ensure the money is being spent on the child. Why not do it like WIC or food stamps? Only certain item are allowed to be purchased. Well, New York seems to be pretty good at wasting money and being asinine with law making so this isn't really much of a surprise. At least we have out red light camera's, lazy, greedy officials looking for extra money even though it will probably take many years for those stupid things to pay for themselves.

Sandra Bullcock

2009-08-12T19:57:00.002-04:00

So, this geezer is in a new movie, they tried so hard to make her look young, almost pulled it off, hahahaha! Not that I wouldn't work over her fish mitten given the chance, but she can't pull off the young 20 yr old look anymore. Hell, I can't and I'm only 27! Don't really have much more to say about this, anyone else have a different opinion?

The tables have turned

2009-08-10T16:36:00.002-04:00

I hope your all happy, every one of you whining fucking maggots that bitched about the rain and the temp only being in the 80's got your wish. This whole week is supposed to be just like today, high 80's with high humidity and little to no breeze. It's so damn muggy out that you have sweat pouring off of you when your standing still, really comfortable, so glad we're getting "summer weather" finally. Wait till I rule the world, the temp will be between 45 and 65 all year long. Partly to moderately cloudy.

Elmo's tickle hands?

2009-08-07T19:42:00.003-04:00

Holy fucking shit, this made me laugh my balls off. Have you seen this commercial for the elmo tickle hand glove things? Big freakin red mittens you wear and when you shake and tickle people the hands make sounds. Like there aren't enough problems with kids touching each other as well as "over involved" parents/adults touching kids? At least there won't be any finger prints! although most of the gloves will probably have some DNA on them, hahahaha!

Well, at least it's one of the few toys advertised that actually have kids active and not sitting on their fat asses being trained by video games to be sharpshooters for the military. I fucking LOVE those games myself, but think it's a tool to get kids used to and numb to violence and bloodshed. After playing those games, I want to eat some raw fucking red meat and kill something! :)

Battle with the bossman

2009-08-04T17:57:00.003-04:00

So I had this thing to install, pipe to, and wire up for work and I had a great idea that was quick, easy, and would look pretty good. Guess what happens when I bring this idea up? He tells me his idea is easier and cheaper, keep your eye on the latter, it's the driving factor. It's also the same reason our company power tools are about as old as I am. So I am to believe his crackpot idea when his math has worked out about as well as a midnight stroll through a minefield with a welding mask on. He undershot our phone wire by about 10,000 feet or so. Anyway, I explain the amount of space I have and the fact I am using 4" metal pipe to do this and how much it actually can bend in a given amount of space, he tells me just to do it.

A few days later I put in my order for pipe and request for a bender, which of course is too expensive for us to have so I order pre-bent 90's and 45's to use. It soon becomes apparent to me that holy shit, it won't work, when you cut more than a few inches off these pieces of pipe they lose the angle and after a certain point even cutting on an angle doesn't work because your halfway through the bend on the fucking pipe! I show him this and he still tries to talk around it for a couple minutes. Finally he stops and see's it past the bend and realizes I am very close to just cutting the damn pipe and then he won't be able to return it and caves.

Now my stuff is being ordered and I have to wait for it to come in, so then I can be behind schedule again. Although the drywallers are holding me up on the other half of my shit so I guess I can somehow do a fucking engineer's job and try to figure out how to calculate shit people spend years in school and make a fuck-ton more money than I do to do. But hey, I couldn't wait to get off unemployment, that was boring as fuck, but so much less stressful.

And practice was cancelled for tonight and it's supposed to rain...

About my bands

2009-07-31T21:14:00.005-04:00

Hey, so I figured I keep plugging my bands I should probably talk about them a bit. I have a metal band called Displaced which I play drums for. I have been with these cats for a couple months now and played my first show with a signed band a couple weeks ago at the Town Ballroom in Buffalo, NY. It was pretty sweet having a rider and being in a headlining band. We are writing some new tuunes now that I learned the old cd and there are some pics up on my myspace and facebook as well as the bands site on myspace www.myspace.com/displaced

I am also in a 90's cover band called Zazz Blammymatazz. We play stuff like Nirvana, Weezer, Queens of the Stoneage, The Fratelli's, Toadies, even some Hendrix. It's alot of fun and a good way to blow off steam and get drunk. We play open mic every week at a bar called Broadway Joe's here in Buffalo on Tuesday nights to practice and we are playing a couple hours on the first of August. I'll post shows for either band as they arise, the cover band is on myspace as well, www.myspace.com/zazzblammymatazzz

Friday night commercials

2009-07-31T20:35:00.002-04:00

So, I was watching the 'ol boob tube, wishing I was boning this one chick I know in the jiveslice, but messing with ideas for a podcast I want to create and drinking gin. A commercial came on for a show called "Man Vs. Food" and I almost lost my shit. Have you seen this asshole? Glorifying gluttony and making a living at being a fat fuck. He travels around and eats massive proportions of the nastiest (healthwise usually) food and brags about it. Is this what is considered "culture" here in the states? I hope not, we have enough problems trying to stay healthy, for those of you who can afford insurance. Whats next, a show where someone is on a couch eating a tub of fucking lard like it's goddamn ice cream? I should pitch that idea to to the network, it'll probably make me millions if there is a bit of drama like the weekly heart attack the fuck will have.

Is this part of the whole reality tv thing all the hippie kids are into these days? I can't stand that crapola either. Though, if your ever feeling like shit just flip on one of these freak shows for 15 min and you'll feel like your on top of the world. I would rather nail my dick to a burning building than watch these shows. Survivor, Real World, Trading spaces, and whatever else passes for entertainment these days can all pound sand.